Navigating Difficult Times to Find Your Potential - Expert Edition Episode 31 (Classic Episode)

In this classic podcast episode, Naseema McElroy and Lisa Peterson discuss the topic of turning crisis into potentiality, which will be timely with the sad news of the student debt relief not pushing through the Supreme Court. Although we're focusing on how it relates to nurses and the stages of grief they may experience, you might find our discussion very applicable to the current emotional difficulties people may be going through in their finance.

We emphasize the importance of allowing oneself to feel sadness, hurt, and fear during challenging times, while also providing effective ways to deal with each stage of grief. Use these emotions as opportunities for personal growth and self-mastery, with high regard in self-care and protecting oneself emotionally and physically without overreacting. We also discuss the potential for nurses to explore new opportunities and reflect on their own desires and passions during this crisis.

Podcast Episode: Turning Crisis into Potentiality from Mindful Millionaire with Leisa Peterson

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TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] Naseema McElroy: All right, nurses on fire. We are back with Leisa Peterson. And this week I wanted to talk about a podcast episode that Leisa recently put out on her podcast, mindful millionaire podcast titled turning crisis into potentiality. And What I wanted to talk about is that in relationship to nurses and what we're going through because it highlights the stages of grief and also gives super effective ways of dealing with each stage and knowing that it's okay to be sad.

It's okay to be hurt. It's okay to feel the things that we are feeling right now. But how are we going to use this to learn and grow. And I just think that the topic is super relevant, and it gives us actionable things that we can focus on because A lot of us are focusing on fear, and you even say like fear is okay, it's okay to be scared.

But let's talk about the stages of grief and how it's related to what we're experiencing right now specifically to nurses.

[00:01:15] Leisa Peterson: That's beautiful. Yeah. I think that it is a relevant topic. I know that nurses are probably feeling, depending on how close they are to treating COVID patients. I think that also plays into it, and we also talk about not just death, but also, death of a business or death of.

You know our finances like or whatever it is because my clients aren't just nurses, right? There are lots of different occupations professions But people are feeling a lot of grief right now and what I have found just in my own experience like you mentioned is that if we can Be in the experience of grief and not push it away, not resist it, that we're more likely to get through it more quickly and easily because resistance causes it to prolong and be a lot more painful.

And then not only can we move through it more easily at the end, I added an extra stage, which is about. Yeah. Imagination and creativity and tapping into our own potential as creative beings which We don't typically think about when it comes to grief But from my own experience of of dealing with a lot of death and a lot of hardships in the past I've learned that every single time I go through something like what we're facing I come out it as a stronger, more resilient, happier person because I've learned a lot about myself.

So that's also what I think the episode is trying to do is encourage people to use fear and sadness and frustration and anger even to go deeper into self mastery.

[00:03:07] Naseema McElroy: Yes. Yes. Yes. And you highlighted some really good things in the episode, but the most important thing that stood out to me was that you're like, we'll be okay.

Like at the end of the day, we're going to be okay. And I think people need to remember that. I have a coworker that is like. riddled with fear that she is going to get this disease and it affects everything. It affects the way she's showing up in her patient care. It affects just how she's being like.

Physically. What advice do you have for people who are just totally in their feelings to the point that it's debilitating?

[00:03:56] Leisa Peterson: Yeah, that's a great question. Just because I think it's helpful to mention and I'm just going to feel into where she's at, because the first stage is denial and like it's not happening I'm not going to pay attention to it i'm going to avoid it And then we get into anger and i'd say bargaining and my sense is she's probably in those two Areas, maybe flipping back and forth where she's upset And that causes her to feel afraid and then she wants to bargain which is like Oh, maybe there's a way out of it.

What about this? What about that? It's a lot of what ifs and those what ifs are what take you totally out of your body. They take you out of your job, they take you out of your relationships at home and they just consume you. And so what I've found when fear takes over like that is we're actually resisting the next stage, which is sadness and depression.

So we're, we're like thinking what if, what if, what if, what if, but if we allowed ourselves to be sad and to just go through the, this really, really sucks, like, I, I wanna just be sad with this and allow that Feeling we continue to move through the stages where we're not stuck in one, but my guess is, is bargaining is very sexy because we think, well, if I had just done that, or if I don't do this or, and it's just consumes us and we can spend years.

We probably all know people who literally that's all they do in their life. Because they're so afraid of feeling sad and maybe having a long hard cry, which is a great way to express sadness, sometimes it's all that tension building up and we're just holding on to it and we can't move through it.

So that's what, I love crying because there's a release that happens as a result that allows us to see something different. See that, like you said, we're going to be okay. This too shall pass. The other piece that I know some people are furloughed or somebody, some people are seeing lower numbers of hours because they're there's work isn't maybe essential or considered that way.

Or there hasn't been as much need because everything's been shut down. But what I have have seen is that, allowing yourself to just be like. This is where I'm at. This is the problem that I'm facing. Like, sometimes we won't even do that. We won't acknowledge where the pain is coming from, and that keeps us from going into the sadness.

[00:06:31] Naseema McElroy: Yes. Yes. And I think that ties into the next point that I thought was like, super brilliant that you made where you were saying to take care of yourself and it's okay to over protect yourself, but don't overreact. And I see a lot of overreacting. Out there and I don't think it's beneficial to anyone.

Yeah, yeah, it's but but I think I think we do need to take steps to make sure that we are protecting ourselves emotionally physically everything. Yeah.

[00:07:09] Leisa Peterson: Yeah, I think that when I was writing the outline for what we were covering, I was like, yeah, that's exactly what I want to say. And so it's interesting that it resonated with you because I was like, this is what's going on right now, and we don't have to shame ourselves for over protection.

And even something like what I'm telling my clients right now is number one, I think this is going to be a three year cycle. Like we're going to literally. Not have a comfortable environment, most likely for the next few years. And I hate to be a pessimistic, but you know, if that's what it seems to you, but I've been around long enough and I'm looking at the data and I'm paying attention to the science and economically speaking, it typically takes a while to recover.

So it's like. How can you financially take care of yourself and get really, really clear and confident in that department, which we'll call overprotecting. Like it will feel like that when you're doing it. There will be nothing like that head hitting the pillow at night, knowing you've got it covered or you have a plan.

And then you can focus on the other parts of life that are way more important than money, for example. So

[00:08:23] Naseema McElroy: yeah. Yes. Yes. I like having that. And that's kind of the route that I've been going, especially in my business and just in what I share with people is that if you can eliminate. That money concern like that played so many people that is the cause of divorce that is usually a cause of a lot of trauma in people's life.

If you can eliminate that piece, which actually it's really small. Once you start working on it, you can focus on being who you are fully. You can focus on being a nurse. That's totally there to serve. It's not about how much you make. It's not about, anything else, but you being of service and you being the nurse that you can be.

And so I love that. I think that we have to. Be able to control at least that one area of our lives so that we can focus on growing the other areas. So just awesome. So outside of people just diving into this episode, which you go really deeply into the stages of grief and how that is manifested.

What other things do you think that nurses especially should be Doing right now in this crisis to make sure that they're coming out Okay,

[00:09:46] Leisa Peterson: I think you know, I might even What comes up when you think about potentiality for a nurse like what would that stand for you?

[00:09:57] Naseema McElroy: I've always seen That nursing to me is a land of a career of opportunity. It just means there's like endless things that you can do. Once you have that degree, there's no limit to anything.

And I think, like you said earlier in your podcast, this is a time that we should really be reflecting and seeing what's important to us, when you have pauses like this, like you said, it's a time to reflect, to learn about yourself. And maybe it might mean that you make a pivot, or not, or stay where you are, but know that it's an opportunity for you to learn more about yourself and to grow.

[00:10:42] Leisa Peterson: Yeah. Cause expansion can happen. Even if you are in, let's say the same job, but you decide that you're going to spend some time researching something, a problem that you've seen in the past that you've never really had all the answers for. Like you get to make the call, but when you're on the other side of grief, what I have noticed is it creates a space.

Spaciousness in our understanding of what it means to be alive and in that spaciousness We become like human sponges where we might want to look for a different, Change in our career. We might want to ask for a raise We might want to go do something slightly different or we may find a hidden passion.

That's completely Unrelated to our career. We may take up painting when my mom I went through these stages and that's why I feel like my dad died and I went through these stages in one way and then, several years later, my dad, my mom passed away. When I was coming out of it, I started painting and I made these huge.

Canvases, a couple of them around here, actually, this whole house is filled with paintings that I started doing all because of that spaciousness that came out of me as I was coming out of grief. It helped me continue the process of healing.

[00:11:54] Naseema McElroy: Yes, yes, yes, yes. I just, want people to just take a moment to actually pause.

Wherever they are right now and pause and just, things are going to look different for a very long time, like you said, but that doesn't mean that it's a bad thing. Where can, what can you do, I just, saying this is an opportunity for growth and a lot of, a lot of awesomeness can come out of this time.

So I think if we shift our focus onto that, I think it, it'll be beneficial just in the long run. Yes. Yeah. All right. So Leisa, I will link up to that episode in the show notes. Anything else you want to add?

[00:12:42] Leisa Peterson: Well, this has been a great conversation. I'm glad that we got the chance to dive into it. That, that show that we're talking about was definitely from the depths of my heart and wanting to help people who listen.

[00:12:54] Naseema McElroy: Yes. And I, and if you listen, you'll hear it. Like I totally heard that. And so thank you for that. And I hope that you guys can get something out of that and get something out of this and just know that at the end of the day, you will be okay.

Hey there I’m Naseema

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