Redefining Parenthood: A Journey of Self-Love and Financial Wisdom - Episode 55

In this episode, we talk with Leisa Peterson about being the best parents we can be and learning about money. Leisa tells us about how she learned to love herself and teach her kids about money in a smart way. We learn why it's important to understand our feelings and make good money choices. This episode is filled with great stories and advice for parents and kids to grow happier and smarter together.

About our guest:
Leisa Peterson is a transformative coach and Certified Financial Planner (CFP®) specializing in combining spiritual wisdom with financial expertise. She guides entrepreneurs to million-dollar breakthroughs in their businesses, drawing from over 30 years of experience in coaching and finance. A self-made millionaire by her mid-30s, she authored the best-selling book "The Mindful Millionaire" and hosts a popular podcast. Recognized in Forbes as one of '10 Women Driving Growth in Wealth Management and Investing' for her impact in wealth management, Leisa's innovative approach is celebrated across major media platforms, helping clients navigate complex life challenges with strength and clarity.

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TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] Naseema McElroy: What's up, my financially intentional people? I know you guys know who Leisa Peterson is because she used to be our in house certified financial planner She is so amazing and it has been a minute since we talked And I follow Leisa on social media and just All over in her newsletter, and I just see how she has raised some amazing young adults now and how her kids are thriving in adulthood.

And I'm just like, okay, I'm trying to be intentional about my parenting. I want to set my kids up for success. We both didn't have the best examples of how to be parents. So I am really trying to be conscious on how I raise my kids. And so what better way to do that than this? Somebody who has been to talk to somebody who has done it very well.

So I'm bringing back Leisa so she could put us up on game on how to launch these kids successfully into adulthood.

 I'm just so impressed. So welcome, Leisa. Thank you so much for joining us.

[00:01:12] Leisa Peterson: I'm so happy to be here, Naseema. Hi, everybody. It's been a while, and I'm super happy to have this conversation with you.

[00:01:21] Naseema McElroy: So let's just catch everybody up besides being a phenomenal mom. What other things are you all about Leisa? Mm hmm.

[00:01:32] Leisa Peterson: Definitely about money, just like you. I love helping people increase their financial awareness, be more conscious of the decisions that they're making about money. And so I wrote a book called The Mindful Millionaire, and it's about helping people unpack their money story. Question the assumptions because that's what I had to do when you're raised with parents who, like my mom, I think was 19 when I was born.

My dad was just 21. My dad had just gotten out of jail before my parents got married. That sets you up. They had me young and they lived, my dad dealt drugs growing up in the Bay Area. It was not. I learned how to roll joints when I was seven years old, at parties, in Berkeley I was born in 66, and so I was raised with these parents that weren't hippies when I was born, but they became hippies by 1970 and through the 70s, and so

I saw a lot more stuff than you're supposed to see as a kid, and It caused me to decide that if I were able to have money, maybe I would be a happier, more fulfilled person. That didn't work out exactly the way I thought. It wasn't just about the money, right? It was about who I am as a human being.

And so what I had to do was reparent myself. And I started reparenting myself when I was about 32 years old, when my dad, unfortunately was murdered. By his ex girlfriend and her boyfriend. We're setting the stage because I think it's important, like you said it wasn't obvious that I was going to be a great parent.

 That's just say that

[00:03:08] Naseema McElroy: Mm hmm. Yeah, I think that's important to note because I think a lot of people Are just trying to figure it out, but not sure they know that they don't want to do what their parents are doing. But oftentimes don't have the tools to correct what's happening. And so what ends up happening is they just.

Repeat those things because typically what's caught is taught, right? You don't know what you don't know until you experience something else, or you're very intentional about changing the way you approach things. And just a lot of people just don't know where to start. So I love that term that you said that you had to learn how to reparent yourself.

First of all, how did you know that that's the path that you need to take? And then let's talk about what you did to do that.

[00:03:55] Leisa Peterson: yeah, I think it was just desperation when my dad was killed I literally had a question with myself about whether I wanted to stick around and at that point my daughter was like two years old and I still wasn't sure that I had the tools To ever be happy. I didn't know I had no framework. I had made money my whole life and all of a sudden my dad's killed and I'm thrown into this existential crisis of not only are you not happy, even though you've got a thriving career, you've gotten yourself educated.

You've got a beautiful, loving husband and this beautiful family. Healthy baby girl. You are a total mess if you are honest with yourself and you have no resources in which to help yourself. And I wasn't someone, maybe it was the times. I don't know. I had never really resonated with therapy. I've never gone to therapist.

I know that they help people a lot, but it wasn't my path. What ended up happening was I was drawn To Buddhism, which is really strange. But there had been some things over the course of my life that made me interested in Eastern religions. I really struggled with the concept of God, I hated myself so much. I couldn't stand the thought that of believing in a God that was just gonna hate me too and criticize me even more. Damn, you're damned. Yeah just

[00:05:20] Naseema McElroy: feel that,

I feel that I feel that because if we're honest, that is the approach that religion takes. And that was one of my big things of our religion. Like I was raised Muslim. But most black people are Christian. And so there was always this thing like you have to accept this or else you're going to hell.

Or if you don't believe a certain way, you will never get into heaven. So it's this negative thing. But like when I started to actually dive into religion, I was like, this ain't what it's really about. But I realized the institution of these religions. Are more about control and to have control over somebody you have to put them in a place of fearing and that was the thing that I hated so thanks for bringing that up because it is so real and I feel it a hundred percent

[00:06:17] Leisa Peterson: I'm not going to go to the God thing. I'll go to Buddhism and maybe I'll find a way to be happy. And so for the next 10 years of my life, from 1999 to 2010, I studied. Buddhist principles and Buddhist practices and the tradition I chose was called Mahayana.

But the only thing that's important to know is it was all about love. That's all that I did was I focused on meditating and learning about love for 10 years straight in all of my spare time to try and figure out how to gain control of my mind first, and then ultimately how to love myself. And that was the journey that, began back then and has continued till this day.

[00:07:05] Naseema McElroy: what I love about this is that I asked you about being a better parent, right? And you said one thing about your child, but most of it was focused on making sure you are good. And I think we lose so much of that in trying to be better people, better parents. We forget that we're the core of everything and the work starts with us.

So thank you for sharing, like how deep you had to go into that work. And I just love the whole, this loving aspect. Cause honestly, you're one of the most loving people I know. Like I have never, never experienced anything, any form of negativity, shade, anything from you. Like you are just always. So sweet and loving.

And so I see the work girl.

[00:08:02] Leisa Peterson: I think here's my observation coming from where I came from and knowing that my parents were not in love with themselves and that they really struggled with. They loved us, they loved each other, but they weren't in love with themselves. Okay, I think it's possible to have both and and because of that they didn't know how to treat my brother and I Growing up.

They didn't know how to teach us things like resiliency. They didn't know how to teach us how to not take what was going on in our lives so seriously. I got bullied a lot growing up, they didn't know how to help me through bullying. They're like, we'll keep your body safe. Like they, they're like, we'll make sure your body is safe, but they didn't understand what was happening to my own self awareness, how I thought of myself as a result.

And so I think a lot of problems in parenting. Are because we haven't really understood the relationship that we have with ourselves and we cannot help but inflict damage onto the children when we are not in love with ourselves. We give them, you use that word shade we do these weird things to our kids that are indicative of that relationship with ourselves not being solid and we take it out on the kids and the kids suffer enormously.

As a result of that, and I was a product of it. So I knew that I didn't want to do that to my kids.

[00:09:36] Naseema McElroy: Can I honestly say I didn't even think about loving myself or that I was supposed or that was like even a thing until my late thirties. And I was like, Hmm, maybe if I focused on that, like I would be a little bit more fulfilled in my life because I was always taught strive for the next thing, work hard, grind, hustle.

You have to make it, you have to be the best and none of that focused around making sure that I was good and that I actually inwardly looked into myself to make sure that I was loving myself. That concept never even came across anywhere in my reality. Nobody talked about it. And I think it's so powerful because I think a lot of people still haven't heard those messages or haven't heard it enough or understood or understand the impact that loving yourself has on everything that you do in life.

[00:10:35] Leisa Peterson: Yeah, but the big question comes like, where do you find it? Where do you get it?

[00:10:41] Naseema McElroy: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:10:42] Leisa Peterson: It's interesting. I know you're on social media, probably a lot more than I am, but I witnessed a woman telling a story the other day on Instagram and it really rocked me and I feel like it fits into this conversation and a black woman who's an actress in, I think she said.

I don't know, upper east side of the country. And she was giving a story that, here she is, it's an all black cast of this play that they're performing. And she was noticing on a regular basis that when she had to mix with the crowd, which was often white, people would grab onto their purses. And she couldn't believe how common it was happening, and she just went on to a rant.

And I was like, I am so sorry that you even have to experience this. But the reason I'm bringing this up right now, Naseema, is I think that what's really hard about self love is if we live in a society That reinforces things that cause us to question, should we be in love with ourselves? It's going to be a lot harder than maybe otherwise.

And, I just want to honor that because it's horrible, but at the same time, I think it causes us. And for me, you and I have talked about this. Like I came from parents who didn't have very much, like we always had a broken car in the front yard. We always, a lot of kids weren't able to play with me on our street growing up because they felt like our family was white trash or that my parents did drugs because they saw like hippie stickers on the bus.

There was stigmas associated. I'm not comparing or saying that it's the same as maybe, color of skin, but I'm just saying this whole idea. that we are judged for how we look or how we're showing up can make it a lot harder to find our pathway to self love, in my opinion, for what that's worth.

[00:12:46] Naseema McElroy: is true. That is true. When you're constantly being told that you're not enough, or you don't fit into this, or you need to do X, Y, and Z to conform to this, it is hard to just be like, I am just fine the way that I am. Especially if you don't see images of people that look like you, where you aspire to go, or you're the only person in that room.

And so it. The, the conversation always turns to, like, how did you get there instead of you deserve to be there. That's been the story of my life, right? Going to predominantly white institutions, then going into a workforce where, you know, only 1%. Black people have degrees in this area or are hired into these jobs.

And so I'm often the only often, and, and not only am I the only I'm still a girl from Oakland and it's in my core and you know what I'm saying? So I don't show up the way most people say that I should. Those soft skills aren't as prevalent in me. So

it is hard. It is hard. So I thank you so much for.

Understanding and having empathy for that and knowing that, struggles can be different. But that doesn't minimize what you went through as well. Yeah.

[00:14:02] Leisa Peterson: And I only, I think I mentioned this because we have to, as human beings, be able to move beyond whatever it is the world is showing us in outward appearance, we have to be able to Build this really, really strong foundation of who we are. And I feel like you're a perfect example of this. I feel like you do this all the time, but I think that even me going and starting my business, having worked in the financial services for many years, like 10 years ago, I started this company and had I not done it, I would not be the person that I am because I didn't have the foundation.

I could meditate. Tell the cows go home for 10, 20 years and still not have it show up in the way that I needed it to partly because I was so unvalidated when I was young, I feel like it was all the more important for me to stand out in a big way and funny enough. This has been 10 years now and my daughter is 26.

My son is 19. And so imagine, in the 10 years of their lives, they've watched their mom go from someone who followed the rules and did what everybody said and worked in the career. And came out and said, no, I'm going to start sharing. What's important to me. I'm going to start giving myself a voice.

I'm going to start taking up more space in the world. I'm going to start being who I really want to be. And I do feel like this was an important part of why my kids are thriving in the way that they are, that I was willing to do this, that I was willing to take the risks and start to do this, even though my self confidence was pretty darn shaky.

To begin with.

[00:15:57] Naseema McElroy: yeah. Oh my God, that's so deep. But it is like more is caught than taught. Like what I said in the beginning, like whether it's positive or it's negative, like your kids are seeing you be authentically you. And I think that that's a priceless lesson. Let's talk about your kids. Introduce us a little bit to your kids and like what they're doing right now in the world.

Um,

[00:16:22] Leisa Peterson: so, my son Aiden, he's 19, he is just started engineering at the honors college at a SU, and he got straight A's his first, he got 4.25. I'm like, how could you even get 4.25%, like whatever, GPA. Yeah, he was telling us, he's I made the Dean's list for his first semester in college. And keep in mind, we had nothing to do with that.

Like he did not want to come home. He got to school. He loved it so much. He didn't come home, even though it's two and a half hours away until Thanksgiving. And he only came for two days because he couldn't wait to go back. So resilient, happy, hardworking. Loves a chat to put himself in situations where he's challenged.

So that's my son and he's just the most kind, considerate, funny story. Just to give you an idea of who he is. He met up with some friends. I think that the group had been drinking. I don't think he drank or he didn't tell me that part, but. These two girls that he didn't know very well, but they had gone to high school with him, ended up drinking way too much.

He walked them back to the dorm and proceeded to stay with them and take care of them as they threw up all night long, even though he didn't really know them. And he took a picture, which kind of is forever in my mind. But just like him trying his best, because he kept trying to leave, but they were so sick and they couldn't take care of themselves, he, he knew that he needed to stay there and take good care.

And that's my son. So then

[00:17:57] Naseema McElroy: hmm.

[00:17:59] Leisa Peterson: my daughter is 26 and about two years ago, a little less than two years ago, she started, she and her fiance at the time, now they're married, they decided to quit their jobs and come to, Sedona. We asked them to come and quit their jobs and help us build a house here in Sedona.

My husband's a general contractor. He said, I will show you how to build a house. And then you can live in our guest house and then you can go off and do your thing after that. And they said, yes, which was crazy. They lived with us for a year and a half while they were doing that. They started an Instagram page to share mountain biking and hiking and rock climbing and things that we were all doing together.

That page has exploded and expanded to tick tock and to YouTube. They probably have, I don't know, 350, 400, 000, maybe more followers, between the different platforms. They are making bank a lot, a lot, a lot of money through sponsorship deals. And they are living the life. They teach people about how to get outdoors called the adventure addicts, but they are.

the kindest, most loving, supportive humans. And I think that that vibe gets shared with the people that follow them. They're just wholesome. My daughter does not wear any makeup. My daughter does not. want to be anyone but herself. She is confident in her own skin and

[00:19:30] Naseema McElroy: It helps that she's extremely gorgeous. Just like mom.

[00:19:35] Leisa Peterson: Oh, she she's, she's, she's always been. She's always been this kid from, she came out and it was like, whoa, I really did treat her like, I think, a princess, queen, you name it, but I did feel this energy that came from her right when she came into the world. She is always, told us what her needs are and then it was up to us to meet her needs.

[00:19:59] Naseema McElroy: Go ahead, girl.

[00:20:03] Leisa Peterson: Seriously.

[00:20:04] Naseema McElroy: yes, yes, yes. I love that. I love that. So I, besides the work that you had to do on your, on yourself and then showing them you being authentically you, what are the things that. We as parents could be doing what are some tools that you really feel like are some best Practices that we can put in a place to really launch successful kids

[00:20:27] Leisa Peterson: Yeah. The biggest thing is to make sure that they are internally driven versus driven to satisfy us. And I wouldn't say That we've totally done this, but I know what we're going with this. Do you follow me? I want my kids internally driven. I do not want it being dependent on me approving or incentivizing their behavior.

What do I mean by that? My kid, my son. Grew up with kids that were paid for their grades and we're like, no, you're just expected to get good grades. We would never pay you for grades. You, you are expected to do your best. If you cannot do your best, then tell us about it and we will get you resources to help you do your best.

That's the expectation. I think both of the kids have always been given. The other thing is, is they are the decision maker. We're not the decision maker. We tell them what we want them to do. We give them the teaching, Hey, we'd love it for you to try these multiple sports because we don't know if one of them is going to speak to you.

But as soon as you want 1 of them, great. If you want none of them, great. But at least try them, when they're really young, try these sports and see if something works for you. But we will never let you make you stay somewhere that you don't want to be. We just know that it's going to be up and down and we're going to help you.

Get through the I don't want to go because I'm lazy today versus I don't want to go because this isn't a good fit for me. Like that kind of thing in all their extracurriculars.

[00:21:59] Naseema McElroy: I was listening to this real ironically this morning with this parent who was saying, no, we need to tell our kids what to do. We need to tell them to do X, Y, and Z. Because if we didn't tell them to do that, what they would wanna do is sit around and eat junk food and play video games all day. To sum it up, like how would you respond to that?

[00:22:19] Leisa Peterson: Yeah. There's a lot of psychology around like the minute you. put someone in a form of resistance, you're just going to get more resistance and it's going to come out in different ways. So I think that we both realize that that doesn't work. And if it's a short term gain, the long term risk is, is that you're teaching kids not to trust themselves and

to listen to themselves by you being an authority, because what do we do when we've been authorized and conditioned and program that somebody else makes decisions for us? I think later on in life, what do we do? We go into situations. We find partners that are going to do the same thing with us. That pattern just repeats itself.

And so we were the antithesis to that. We never told our kids when they got money, for example, that they had to. Put a certain amount in one place and another place and another place where this is your money. What do you want to do with it? And like my son, he liked video gaming. And early on when he started to be able to get the fact that if he got money, he could buy these video games.

We were like, those are expensive, and so we let him spend all his money a couple of times on things. And then he's I want this. And it's if that's three times the cost. So if you had saved your money and not bought those things every time you wanted them, you would have had enough.

And I kid you not just by him going through it and having to experience it. Now he's doesn't want to spend any money. It's really weird. Like he got all that responsibility and realized that he was the decider. And that taught him very early on that. Wait a minute. I want to protect my money.

I want to have it for the things that I really want. And I need to be more discerning of how I spend my money. It was so simple.

[00:24:09] Naseema McElroy: It's crazy because it's like you said, like you opened up room for them to fail, but then you were there to be like, but there's these things and then that shaped them instead of you being like, No, you have to do X, Y, and Z, because like you said, the key thing was they need to be able to trust themselves. That's another thing that I feel like is missing, like trusting yourself and understanding, but, but you said you had a kid that loved to play video games, like, how do you feel like? He wasn't like a couch potato, but still was able to excel academically, but he still did the things that he was quote, unquote, passionate about.

Hmm.

[00:25:06] Leisa Peterson: too, is like. The, the amount of communication that happens inside of everything that we're going through is very, very high. We notice a problem and we talk to it. And I would not say my son enjoys that. In fact, we were just talking a couple of days ago.

He's mom, you used to lecture me. He says, you used to buy into all those people that said like video games were going to destroy my life and that I was spending way too much time doing it. And then I had no friends and he's but mom, the people that I met online were so much more compatible to me than the people at school.

I met older people that I could have really great conversations with that helped me develop as a person. The kids that I was hanging. That I could have hung out with at school, weren't having those conversations. They weren't interesting to me. It allowed me to find where I did fit in online because I didn't fit in the classroom.

I didn't fit in with the kids that were my age. So I did all of those things, but he was there. And I gave him enough space for me to say, this is how I feel about this thing. But I also gave him enough space to say, yes, but I'm okay. Yes. But I'm getting the grades. Yes. If I go into periods of depression and sadness, mom, this is what he told me.

Cause I used to get freaked out about that. Came back to me and he said, I need you to let me get sad. You need to stop trying to take this away from me. If I'm sad, I want to be able to be sad, and I need you to know that I'm gonna be okay.

[00:26:39] Naseema McElroy: But hold on, like, how did he get the awareness to know that? And depression. Suicide is like an all time high, so that had to be super scary for you, but for him to be like, I'm going to be okay, there had to be something that he innately knew or experienced or that was modeled for him to know that in itself, that I'll be okay, but I need to go through this, like, how, how did that happen?

Mm

[00:27:13] Leisa Peterson: I, I don't know,

[00:27:15] Naseema McElroy: hmm. Mm

[00:27:16] Leisa Peterson: I do know that When I have a thought, this is the cool thing about meditation and mindfulness practice, which is something that I've been doing for, 25 years, like having a very consistent practice. What happens on my meditation cushion is I tune into my intuition and it tells me things about.

What's going on with my kids and what do I need to be paying attention to? And what have I like drop the ball on? What am I being lazy about? And then when that comes to me, then I will go and talk to my husband. I will go and talk to my kids. I will tell them. What my fears are. I will tell them what I'm concerned about.

I will tell them what I'm struggling with. And then we can decide what to do with it. So I think I have been very communicative from my son's dealt with depression. Side note. My mom got ovarian cancer and was diagnosed when he was in utero and he was born on the day she was getting the first surgery to remove the cancerous tumors out and she stuck around with stage four ovarian cancer to get to know him and for three years, three years, she made it and they were like this, my mom and my son.

And so it was like he lost a mom at

[00:28:29] Naseema McElroy: Mm

[00:28:31] Leisa Peterson: And so he started suffering with a fear of death from maybe a year later after she passed because he missed her so bad. He was like, he would wake up in the middle of the night, just terrified that he was going to die and so afraid of death. And I think it started these depression things early in life that I can talk about now.

But at the time, it was just so overwhelming. We never got help at the time. I just thought it would go away, but it was just, it was there. So I, because of that, I think I talked to him a lot more. We would sit and talk about death. We would talk about sadness. We would talk about these things. And that probably opened up his awareness to have his own conversations with himself early in life.

[00:29:13] Naseema McElroy: Wow, that's pretty impactful but I think Another thing we just don't allow our kids to be sad. Like we say things like, especially to boys, like you have to be tough. There's no room for sadness. Don't cry, like all of these things, but letting people experience the full range of their emotions is super impactful because then they can cope on their own.

Yeah.

[00:29:47] Leisa Peterson: That's what I see now. That's why I said, him going off to college, this person that I'm describing, it could have gone any which way. But here, this kid goes off to college. He's never been very social. He's had a few friends or online friends than offline friends going into a dorm situation.

And I was like. I don't know if he's going to want to come home in two weeks and be done with the whole experience because it's unlike anything he's ever done. And yet he goes and he is able to navigate, find people that he enjoys and trusts. And just like me, He finds people that aren't the norm.

They're like the folks that are on the outliers or whatever. He, we get to meet his friends and I'm like, your friends look just like my friends would have looked like in college. It was just, I could feel the energy of woo, misfits together and tight and, just dancing to our own tune.

And we're all doing what we want to do. And in that young form of life.

[00:30:48] Naseema McElroy: You did make some sacrifices for your son. Didn't you move to a certain place in Arizona so he could go to a good school? Heh

heh

[00:30:58] Leisa Peterson: a complete disaster. Yes, we did.

[00:31:00] Naseema McElroy: ha ha ha

[00:31:03] Leisa Peterson: we got this idea that like he needed a more challenging high school and so Sedona is a really small town. There's 70 or 80 kids in his class. He couldn't get a P classes that he would have wanted. So we got this grand idea that we would go to move to Flagstaff.

We bought a house in Flagstaff so he could go to a big high school, right? Yes. beginning of freshman year, fall 2019. Okay, set the stage. So by the time the pandemic hit, he still didn't have any friends, which meant basically he stayed in his room for about a year and a half. playing video games. So we finally gave up on Flagstaff and then came back to Sedona and he went to the high school and he was happier in Sedona than he was in Flagstaff.

And it all turned out okay, but we had to make one of those. This is not working. This is a failed experiment. He is the one who's suffering the most and we just need to get out of it. And I will say, side note, we made like 300, 000 by buying a house fixing it up, and that was a whole other story.

But we did come out okay financially, and he came out okay. So I guess we made enough money to, yeah, more than pay for college.

Yeah.

[00:32:27] Naseema McElroy: That's awesome. That's awesome. And it helps when your husband's like general contractor, can do all of the things. Yeah, I've been asking for his brother, little brother from him, but yeah. I don't think it's going to happen, but anyway, I also I know your daughter was working for you outside of what she was doing with your husband.

She was working in your business with you for a little while as well. Right.

[00:32:52] Leisa Peterson: Yeah, mostly she's just always been an expert communicator. She just has a good way of writing and speaking and knowing when you are doing something right or wrong. And so she just basically helped me and be like, mom, that's stupid. Don't do that. You should do this. So she innately, I think has had it in her to Be a successful entrepreneur, but honestly, she wouldn't have had that chance if she hadn't come and worked here and lived with us and had the freedom to just start playing.

If you go back and you look at Zoe's early videos and the adventure addicts, you'll see that they were just having fun. They were just doing what they loved and the only reason they started it. They had no grand dreams other than we want to meet some friends who we can go on backpacking trips with.

We want to meet people that we could be, have fun with that was, and have like minded, interests.

[00:33:49] Naseema McElroy: That is so cool. So that was her boyfriend at the time, but they're now married. Right. And isn't there like this amazing story around their like wedding?

[00:34:02] Leisa Peterson: Yeah. They wanted, they decided to elope partly to save money and partly to just have a very intimate experience with the them and the person who officiated. And they brought a photographer with them, but they went up to Desolation Wilderness above Lake Tahoe. They live in Lake Tahoe now.

And, they hiked five miles in and unfortunately that morning she's calling me and she's it's raining. It's raining. It's August and it's raining in Tahoe. It's raining on my wedding day. I was like, I think it's supposed to be lucky, like I'm trying to like make her feel better. And long story short, they got there, just drizzled.

They had this beautiful ceremony planned with the dress and dressing up and all of that. And. After the ceremony, the sun was setting and the whole entire sky out in this desolation wilderness, which is rocks and trees and water, like a little lake, aloha, everything became pink. And then a rainbow appears above them and everyone's what is going on?

This is a miracle. And so they got a lot of pictures of it. And then. Of course, because Zoe creates short content, really highly engaging videos, she created a video of their experience that she had spent 100 on her wedding dress, 4 or 5 on the cake, and 30 on flowers. And then off they went, their ultimate budget wedding.

And so they've, I don't know, had 30 or 40 million views of this video of their wedding.

[00:35:37] Naseema McElroy: But you weren't invited. You weren't there.

[00:35:45] Leisa Peterson: I know, we got a video of it. That was, there was more to that story that shall remain private. Not because it has to do with us, but some things that. were happening for Kelby's family and some dynamics that, that meant that this would be by far the best option and would bring the two of them the most peace and joy.

And honestly, once I got over that sadness, then I actually had to help Zoe get over the sadness because, you kind of waffle, you

[00:36:16] Naseema McElroy: yes.

[00:36:16] Leisa Peterson: I want them there and we love each other so much and. Ultimately, it was perfect. It was perfect because the week after we did a big family celebration, everyone came and we it was just it was so perfect for them.

[00:36:32] Naseema McElroy: But the awareness your kids have to do what is right for them. It's something that cannot be, like, understated it is that is priceless that she knows that. And I just, like I said, I think it just speaks to the kids that you raised. And then, I just want to Touch on the fact that you had the ability to let your kids, her daughter and her and her then boyfriend come and stay with you guys.

Like she had the option to not have to work, not have to go to school, not worry about an income for a certain amount of time. I don't want to brush that under the rug because do most parents don't have that? It's just like maybe we can provide housing for you, but you gotta, you, it's like this, you gotta work, you gotta go to school, you got to be doing something and it's like the ability that you gave them, of course, they were helping your husband build

[00:37:31] Leisa Peterson: Yeah, they were building a house. It was a lot of work.

[00:37:35] Naseema McElroy: Right,

[00:37:36] Leisa Peterson: We didn't,

[00:37:37] Naseema McElroy: were gaining all these skills too. But at the same time, you have to, you had somewhere for them to land and for them to outside of this thing that they were doing, really foster their own identities. And I think that that's super powerful. Yeah. Yeah. Mm

[00:37:56] Leisa Peterson: they, they, we thought that we were the ones who were getting the great benefit, and we did, but ultimately it became this beautiful win win for them and for us. We got this new house that I'm in right now, and it's beautiful and lovely and, It's appreciated and all the good things that you had hoped for.

But it's a good, it's a good example that sometimes we have to go way outside of our comfort zone and really speak into what we want. And what I wanted was I really wanted to spend the time with Zoe and Kelby and get to know him better. I didn't know if we would ever get that chance. And the idea that we could live together, granted they were in a guest house, but we were together, making meals together for a year and a half, we got to see him and know him and how beautiful of a person he is. And that's not a common situation nowadays, but I just felt that that would be the most amazing thing that I could ever hope for. And that tightness and that bond will continue forever. Like as long as we're, all alive, I feel like we'll be so close as a result of that time that we got.

[00:38:58] Naseema McElroy: Let me tell you something that is rare I'm just i'm like first of all, not many people love their mother in laws and want to be that close the fact that you have that relationship is so cool But I just want to like you to leave us with some takeaways some things that parents can do right now To shift the dynamics with their kids to set them up for success

[00:39:22] Leisa Peterson: Mm hmm. Yeah. Listen, listen to your kids, right? Really, they, I don't care how old they are. I think we treated our children like they knew who they were from a very young age and we listened to them as if they were far wiser than like logic would tell you. Now, that isn't to say that they don't make mistakes and believe me, we are right there and we are providing guidance and helping them make good decisions, but listen to them.

And if you listen to your children, they are going to be more likely to listen to you. The other thing is we know that if we're not modeling something in our own life, we cannot expect our kids to do something different. Like whatever we're doing is going to far, be far more important than what we're saying.

And so you gotta walk the walk and you gotta do what you're saying you're going to do. And. That's going to, that's going to show your kids who they want to be when they grow up.

[00:40:23] Naseema McElroy: I love it. I love it. So Leisa, where can people stay in touch with you and follow all the things that you're doing in the world?

[00:40:30] Leisa Peterson: Yeah. Thank you so much. So if you want to go to wealthclinic. com forward slash vision, you could get a first chapter of my book, the mindful millionaires, meditation, some other goodies. I host retreats in Sedona and Hawaii. I love having new people come and join us. But it's always a great thing. I, I love to meet with people and and help them, see if there's a good fit for some of the things that we put together.

So always reach out. I'm happy to chat.

[00:41:01] Naseema McElroy: And you have some amazing content and I always feel so grounded and centered when I talk to you. It's always just a pleasure. So I appreciate you coming on. I am like, soaking in all of these tips and I just hope my kids can be have as adjusted to this world as your kids.

So I really, really appreciate you Leisa as always.

[00:41:25] Leisa Peterson: I appreciate you so much. Thank you so much for all you do.

[00:41:29] Naseema McElroy: Thank you.

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