This Nurse is Shifting Her Mindset From Being a Consumer to an Owner - Ep. 81

Ryan Sterling is the founder of Future You Wealth. Ryan is a wealth manager, speaker, and published author of “You’re Making Other People Rich”. As a financial advisor, he challenges and inspires people to live life on their terms by taking accountability and action over their wealth.  Ryan has personally worked with thousands of people to help go from being a consumer of “stuff” to an owner of capital and life on their terms.

He has been featured in media outlets such as Business Insider, CNN Money, Huff Post, and is a TEDx speaker. He has earned his MBA and the distinction of Chartered Financial Analyst. Before starting Future You Wealth, he worked at some of the world’s leading financial institutions such as Goldman Sachs, AllianceBernstein, and Capital Group.

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TRANSCRIPT:

Naseema McElroy: [00:00:00] All right, Nurses on Fire. I am honored to have  Ryan Sterling of Future You Wealth on to join us. Hey Ryan, how are you?

Ryan Sterling: [00:00:08] Hey, it's good to be on.

Naseema McElroy: [00:00:10] Awesome. And the reason why I really wanted to have Ryan on is because he has a lot of experience as a financial planner has been in the game talking about money for years , has TED talks about it. But he has his book that really caught my eye and it talks about consumerism. And I'll give you the opportunity to share your background and talk more about your book, but it's just really an honor to have you here because I know my audience can learn a lot from what you have to share.

Ryan Sterling: [00:00:43] I'm excited to share it.

Naseema McElroy: [00:00:44] Well, go ahead and tell us about your background. Like I want to know about your money story first,

Ryan Sterling: [00:00:49] Yeah, no for sure. No, it's funny. I mean, it's a, it's a story that's wrapped in irony because I've been a practicing financial advisor for over 15. 10 years worked at some of the largest firms in the industry.

I worked at Goldman Sachs out of business school. I worked at a large firm called Alliance Bernstein. I worked at a large investment management firm called capital group. These are some of the biggest names in the wealth management industry, and I was working with some of the wealthiest people in the country.

My typical client was a high net worth clients. And I went in bright eyed, bushy tailed, ready to know, take the world by storm and sure enough, like I did, and I was checking all the boxes. I was going up the corporate ladder. I, had my sights on the next title, the next benchmark, and I was hitting it, but the entire time.

I was neglecting my own personal finances and I got caught up in a phenomenon known as a lifestyle creep. So lifestyle creep is basically when you make more income, more income becomes an invitation to develop more expensive habits. You can wear a nicer clothes. You can go to nicer restaurants and I started clubs.

You can drive a nicer car and every time you make more money, You make an extra 20,000, you spend an extra 25,000, you make an extra 50,000. You spend an extra 60,000. That was the cycle I was in for so many years. And I got to this point in my mid thirties, where. just kind of being somewhat reflective at the end of the year.

And I wasn't really happy where I was. I looked around and I said, wait a second. I have to, I was senior vice president. I was doing the job that I wanted. I was making the income that 10 years earlier. I defined as my, I made it number. So I, I did it. Like I checked off all the boxes. I hit it. The spot I want it to be, I wasn't happy and my marriage wasn't going well.

And then when I looked around, I said, like, what's going on? I'd realized that I was just a consumer. I was consuming stuff. I was consuming bad energy. I was letting things, consume me. We were consuming bad food. We were just consumers in this life. And when my wife and I really looked at this and said, are we happy?

Are we, are we okay? Living a life that we designed for ourselves. Are we living a life that was designed for us? We looked around and said, you know what? Like, we're just falling victim to the traps that so many people fall victim to. And if we actually really think about what we truly want at the core of who we are, We don't want a lot of this stuff.

We don't want to be consumers. We don't want to be dependent on the next paycheck or bonus or the next promotion to keep this thing going. We want to be more owners. We want to take more ownership. We want to have more independence, more agency, again, more ownership. So we thought about how do we make this transition from being a consumer?

To being an owner. And that's really the point of this book and really what I speak about today. It's again, going from that, that consumer mentality to an owner mentality,

Naseema McElroy: [00:03:58] like where was the exact, like, breaking point, and then how did you know that it was the consumerism that drove it, like so many people just there, they know that they're unhappy, but they're not sure why, like, how did that shift for you?

Ryan Sterling: [00:04:13] Yeah. I mean, it was a, it's a good question. It wasn't necessarily just like one event where Tiffany, it was just kind of a series of events. It was. Again, sitting at the end of the year and realizing that like, I hit that number. I had his number etched in my head that like, when I hit this number, that's when like I've made it.

And I realized I hit the number and like, I didn't feel any different, I didn't feel financially secure. I didn't feel any happier. You know, my wife and I, again, we were in a really bad place. We weren't connecting, we weren't communicating, we weren't on the same page. We were just, again, both, both consuming.

And we were kind of on the brink of, of having our marriage ending. There was also just like, I just, a couple of events happen with respect to just, just feeling sluggish and just feeling, not, not very healthy and yeah. Again, it was just all of these things, just combined all at once. And actually now that I think about it, really, what, what was more or less kind of the catalyst of changing?

It all was actually first actually getting her health in order. And we watched the documentary, what the health on Netflix. And after watching that, we just said, you know what, like, why don't we try this? Why don't we try going vegan for a little while and see how it goes? And once we did that, it just, for whatever reason, when we started eating cleaner, we stopped drinking less.

We just had this enormous clarity and it was that clarity where we said, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Is this the life that we really want to live? And I was able to then just kind of like, I want to describe this as like, we like. It hit the brakes going on the highway. And I don't think we hit the brakes.

We more or less kind of tapped on the brakes. We took an off ramp and we said like, let's go to the compass and see like, what direction are we going? And is it the right direction? Or do we want to do something else? And I think again, having that. Space and eating really clean and healthy, help provide some mental clarity.

And I was able to look at people around me , in my environment at work. And I was able to look at the people who were 10 years above me, and this is no judgment, but I was kind of looking at them and saying, is that, is that where I want to be in 10 years? Because 10 years ago, I wanted to be where I am now.

And I'm there and I'm not feeling it. So wait, let me look, 10 years in the future. Okay. Is that really where I want to be? And that it was able to kind of then backdoor in the way, backdoor us into thinking, all right, let's stop. Let's again, go on the off ramp. Let's they got a compass. Is this what we want?

Is this the life that we want? Yes or no. And ultimately the answer was no. And then the next thing was okay. Are we on the same team? Okay. Like, can we, can we define what we want to accomplish together? Okay. The answer is yes, which it was okay. What do we need to do now to detach from being a consumer?

Because we realized that the consumer is almost what it was like putting us in this hole and this dark place, how do we get out of it? And how do we take more ownership?

Naseema McElroy: [00:07:03] I love that you have taken that off ramp and then just that last, like less recalibrate here. Like, I love that, but I also love what you said because it's super relevant that, you know, you were there, you hit that number and.

For so many people, is that fight to like get there like, Oh, but when I get there, I'll be happy. Or when I get there, I can do X, Y, and Z. Or when I get there, I can now start working on whatever money goals or whatever. And. You're going to get there and you still going to be the same person you bring in that same person with you.

So I, nothing gone changed when you get there. Even if you get there, you could just be struggling your whole life to get there. So I think it's super powerful to hear from people that have arrived that made it, I mean, you've checked all your boxes and I'm a box checker too, and I know how important that can be, but if you're doing it.

And you're unhappy is all for not like, it's like, what's the point. So I love that. I love that you shared that. So I want to know what are the things that you shifted in your life to go from being a consumer to an owner?

Ryan Sterling: [00:08:10] What's so much of this, you know, and a lot of the theme of, of the book and a lot of what I'll talk about today.

And I talk about in my talks, it's just creating some space again, when we realized that things weren't necessary, really what we want it to be instead of like slamming the brakes and then going a different direction. Right. It was again, I just, I use the metaphor of just like tapping the brakes and taking the off ramp because we needed to create some space.

And instead of making a wholesale change, just stopping to say number one, the first thing we did is we, we ask ourselves a question, what do we want? But we gave two constraints. Our wants can't be more money and they can't be material things. It's a simple question, but it's a really hard answer. And we thought about like, what do we, if we take, if we strip out the material, like w w what do we want?

And when we answered the question, it really came down to like, we want better connection as a couple. We want to feel better physically. We wanted more independence. We wanted more agency over our lives. We didn't want to be dependent on companies and paychecks and bonuses to support our livelihood.

And ultimately it also came down to we wanted more adventure in our lives. We, we checked all the boxes, but we were left kind of empty. Like we needed a new risk and we needed a new challenge to pursue. And the way that our life was set up. It wasn't it wasn't delivering on that. So we knew that we needed to make some changes, but at the same time, we're also grounded in reality.

And we're also in a place where we have really good jobs that are paying a good amount of money. So it wasn't saying, okay, I don't want to work at this company more. I don't want to like work for anyone. So I'm going to break ties and we're going to go off on this new venture. It was saying, okay,

this is not where we want to be, but at the same time, we need to give ourselves a couple of years. We need to give ourselves a couple of years to give some time and space, to change behavior, to repair the balance sheet, to start saving up more money. Because ultimately what we decided is we want to be entrepreneurs.

We want to be business owners. This is something that we always wanted to do. This would be a new, exciting adventure and just a new challenge for us, but also a way where we could create a business and work with clients, the way that we wanted to work with clients, to create our own schedule and ultimately to have that independence that we were craving.

But at the same time, it was also. Having the realization and having the patients to say, it's going to take a couple of years to get there. So let's give ourselves that space. Let's observe what we're doing and the actions we're taking. And once we were able to observe, and we actually just started tracking all of our expenses, we put our balance sheet right there, front and center.

We created a vision board to see where we wanted to go to. So by having the vision of where we wanted to go to, but doing a true diagnostic and reality check of where our money is going today, we then started asking the question, okay, are we consuming in a way that's getting us closer to this life that we want to live or is it taking us away from it?

Naseema McElroy: [00:11:05] I love it. It's making your actions align with your vision. So, ah, this is beautiful. I love that. And so how many years did it take you to go from being this corporate VP to be an entrepreneur?

Ryan Sterling: [00:11:19] It was a little over two years.

Naseema McElroy: [00:11:21] That's actually really good, but I like that you didn't just say, okay, I recognize this, nothing is wrong. I'm just about to quit my job and then go do this day. Cause you are, like you said, you are grounded in reality, most isn't, first of all, entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart. It is hard. And you got to have a little runway.

So you did it the right way.

Ryan Sterling: [00:11:43] That's right. That's right. But then also really thinking about like when he gave that speech. So when we started to think about, you know, it's funny because, you know, I think about where I was  in my early twenties. And I think about just being bright eyed, bushy tailed, and getting into this new this industry and wanting to make it and the excitement and the challenges.

And, you know, I was living in an efficiency apartment and driving a beat up car, you know, wearing the same suit every day, but I was like super excited and I was like, really. I was honored to be included the firms I was working at. I had challenges in front of me. I had the, again, the, that, that I wanted to check the boxes.

I had something that I was aspiring to. I was getting a better and I realized again in my mid thirties were okay, here I am. Now I'm making really good money. I can afford, you know, 20 designer suits. I can have a luxury car. We're going out to expensive dinners, but then I'm like, wait a second.

I was way happier. Where I was in my early twenties when I couldn't do any of this stuff. And again, I had one suit and like, I couldn't afford to go out to expensive dinners, but I, when I, when I gave that space and I started to detaching, I realized like, wait a second, like the good stuff in life. Are it's the connection with people?

It's the challenges, it's the areas of personal growth. So within those two years, even though I was super excited to, okay, I want to go to this new place in my life. But knowing that I needed to stay where I was, because I needed the paycheck and I needed to again, get my habits and behaviors that are with money.

And it was, it's better to do when you have money coming in. I signed up for a marathon. And I wasn't a runner, but I knew I needed a new challenge in front of me. I knew I needed something that scared me and something that was exciting. But the funny thing is when I signed up for the marathon, I got really into running and I went out for my first five mile run and then I did an eight mile run and then a 12 mile run.

Like there was like this excitement. They like, I can't believe I just did that. And it got me reconnected to like the exciting part of me when I was in my early twenties. But I think what that did and what that showed me now in my late thirties, early forties is to say, okay, This is the stuff that I need, the material things aren't going to do it like the expensive dinners.

Like they're, they're actually, I really don't like most of these restaurants I'm going to, you know, like having 20 designers, it's like, why do I need 20 designers? I don't need 20 designers. It's you? It's like the clothes that I have delivered to me. Well, I just know that three months from now, they're just gonna be old stuff in my closet.

Like I realized, like this stuff wasn't. Doing it, the consuming wasn't doing it. It was the personal growth. It was the love. It was the connection. It was the having a goal that I knew was going to provide a lot of meaning and independence that was in front of me. That's the stuff that got me excited.

Naseema McElroy: [00:14:21] I love that. Oh my God. Well, you said you ran marathons. My heart started beating now. I just can't.

Ryan Sterling: [00:14:31] That was just my thing. But I'll tell you that I was talking to somebody who had major issues consuming. And they're, they're not necessarily someone that wanted to do an athletic endeavor, but they're really into theater and they signed up for a community theater project where they were, you know, a kind of a part in a local production.

And it was funny getting reconnected to something that they enjoyed doing as a kid, you know, being a character, being a part of this troop, having to go out and perform. It actually reframed his mind with personal growth, where he got really excited about that and, and started consuming a lot less.

Because again, now he was consuming something that was making him grow as a person, and it realized all of the stuff that he was using as a way to fill this void. Just wasn't doing it for him.

Naseema McElroy: [00:15:15] That's exactly what I was going to say. I feel like we fall into this trap of consumerism because there's some sort of void and everybody's void is different that consumerism, because it's like that temporary, like dopamine hit it's like, it feels good initially, but ultimately like, The, it doesn't do anything to bring us joy in the longterm.

And that's, as I say, like, it's totally, it's totally like a temporary like fix. And once you can replace that with something that actually really is fulfilling and brings you joy, you'll notice that in your consumerism drastically decreases. And that's ultimately why I brought you on here because I see it, especially with nurses. I mean, we get those jobs, we start spending, or we think we have to do X, Y, and Z for our kids. And so, you know, We're in a position where we're not in a good financial space. But we have all of the things. So it looks like we're out here, like doing big things, but we're really broke. And so I just want you to help me speak into these nurses so that they'll know how to make that transition for themselves.

Ryan Sterling: [00:16:27] No doubt. And I think one thing that will help is this realization that I came to because, Oh, and one thing I want to say is that when I talk about tracking expenses, when I talk about you know, getting connected to your money, it's not about saying no. Hey, it's about saying yes to the things that add value and no to the things that don't.

So you could say that, Oh, well buying a new pair of shoes like that provides a lot of value. Okay. Does it though, really like, again, that's a, that's an initial dopamine boost, but is it really, is it getting you to where you want to be, or is it just more stuff that's accumulating? And that doesn't mean don't have a nice pair of shoes, but maybe you have two pairs of really nice shoes that you actually use.

And, and then, and that's it. I I've worked with people who have a closet worth of a hundred thousand dollars worth of shoes that that's no longer worth a hundred thousand dollars anymore, but they spent a hundred thousand dollars on those shoes, like something wasn't working. Right. And when you feel like you get a pair of shoes, you wear them a couple of times, and then you need another one.

Like, obviously there's something psychological going on. So again, it's not to say don't have a nice things, but do you really need to quantity?  And so , I'm a competitive person. And this is something that really helped me. So when I was trying to detach from being a consumer and just really thinking about like, why is it so hard to stop?

Because, you know, I talk about, I had that realization, but it wasn't an overnight thing. Like I also had to detach from The allure of consumption and something hit me one day when I was talking to a buddy of mine. So a friend of mine is in the tech space. He's a, in the venture capital world. And he was starting a new company.

He was raising money and he was working with this venture capital firm. And he was having a hard time working with them. And he was venting to me one day and he said, Ryan, he goes, huh? This venture capital firm. They are killing me. He's like, they keep telling me, I need the reduced, the friction points.

Between the customer and the sale. And we said that to me, it was like a light bulb went off in my head and I said, okay. You know what we live in this world, where there are no friction points between us and spending our money. So it's one of those things where like, as much as we could say, people come on, stop consuming at the same time.

It's rigged again.

Naseema McElroy: [00:18:42] Right? I mean like Amazon prime is the devil. Like, you know,

Ryan Sterling: [00:18:47] when Amazon introduced one click checkout, It's estimated that their revenues increased by $4 billion a year.

Naseema McElroy: [00:18:55] Yes. Reduce the friction.

Ryan Sterling: [00:18:57] Yeah. Buy one, click checkout, reduce the friction points. And you know, you think about it. You go back decades ago, there used to be natural friction points that existed between us and spending our money.

So let's talk about shoes, for example, you know, go back decades ago. If you wanted to buy a pair of shoes, you had to say, okay, I need a pair of shoes. Okay. Do I have cash on me? Yes or no. Okay. If the answer is no, you gotta drive to the bank. If the wait in line, you have to get cash from a teller, there's a friction point.

You then have to drive to a store. There's a friction point. You have to dig through inventory. Do they have what you want? Do they have your size? Yes or no? If no, there's another friction point. You have to drive to another store. You think about something as simple as buying a pair of shoes could be a three to six hour events, but with each passing decade, you get easy pay solutions, credit cards, online shopping. And now you have the push notifications where all of these companies have our data. They can push the date. They know we like that. We know our preferences and they can now push stuff to us where all we have to do is press a one button and you can have 20 pairs of shoes delivered a day later with free shipping.

The friction is gone. So when I was thinking about this, I said, okay, this is a system that is designed against us. And guess what it is intentionally designed to get us to spend more. So how do we fight back against an intentionally designed system? We fight back with intention, but it's, it's up to us to be the ones who intentionally add back those friction points and those speed bumps between us and spending our money.

So for those listening, this is not the say, Hey, just, you know, get your fixedsomewhere else and don't consume anymore. I understand. I have great empathy. I was there before too, but it's to say, to have that intention and the mindfulness to say, okay, here are my trigger points here. Here's the environment that's making me consume more than I need to.

How do I get out of it? So it's as simple as like deleting  your, your apps. I, someone read my book and they sent me a no. And they said they deleted all their sneaker apps.  You don't need a sneaker app, right?

Naseema McElroy: [00:21:01] Why do you need an app for sneakers?.

Ryan Sterling: [00:21:04] You don't  need it. It could be as simple as I work with people where there is a rule in place where before doing any online checkout, you step away for 20 minutes.

Sometimes all you need is that space. You just need that little bit of distance for you to realize the number one, your mind goes somewhere else. You work on something else. And by the time you come back to it, you're like, wait, do I really want that? Do I not? So it's it's whatever you can do.

It could be as simple. I have a client that had to say no to Amazon for a month. It's not forever, but just, I don't care if it's cheaper to buy toothpaste at Amazon, go to the store to buy it, like just say no for one month, because they needed to create that space, that distance. So I'm a big proponent of today, we are the ones that need to add back the friction points between us and spending our money and. It's it's, it's hard because again, the system has been set up in a way to get us to overspend, to get us connected. Everybody wants you to download those apps. And when I was in college, I worked at the gap and I used to get a bonus.

If someone signed up for the credit card. Why because they knew that if someone signs up for the gap credit card, they are more inclined to spend it. The gap.

Naseema McElroy: [00:22:16] Of course, of course. Especially because we won't talk about store credit cards, but we know they're not great. 

Ryan Sterling: [00:22:34] But, you know, it got me thinking where it's like, okay, so what's the secret. And I was working with high net worth clients and yeah, there were some people that inherit their money and all that good stuff, and that's all well and good. But I was thinking about the people that were really truly like the self-made millionaires.

And w what's the secret and the secret is ownership, but more specifically owning appreciating assets. So thinking about differentiating between depreciating assets and appreciating assets, so depreciating assets or anything you buy, where if you were to sell it at a later date, it would be worth less.

So this shirt I'm wearing the shoes that we have, those are depreciating assets. There was no way that someone would buy those shoes from you at a price for more than what you paid for. It. You've already won them. It's so easy to spend on a depreciating asset, but I'm thinking what about skewing it though and saying, wait a second.

Instead of over-consuming on the depreciating assets, own appreciating assets, the assets that go up in value over time. So stocks, you know, real estate, you know, the assets that work for us, even when we're not. So thinking about, instead of buying the new iPhone upon release. Buy Apple stock.

Naseema McElroy: [00:23:44] That's right!

Ryan Sterling: [00:23:47] You know, what own the company? B B on the ownership side of it.

Naseema McElroy: [00:23:50] Yeah. I have a friend. His name is Wall Street Trapper. And he grew up kind of like in the streets. And so like, his thing was, you know, It's surrounded by consumerism, surrounded by, you know, going to buy Louis Vuitton and Gucci and all those kinds of things.

And then like the thing that clicked for him that sense to him was like, well, how much do these Gucci shoes costs. How much does a share of this stock cost? I'm about to buy this stock because that's about to make me some money and that's what made it tangible for his friends as well. And so I think like when people shift like that, even my daughter, she's six years old, I told her last night, like, yeah, we're, I'm going to set up your.

Your investment accounts. Cause I would want her to be more interested in investing because she's a super consumer. I mean, cause  she thinks she's rich. Okay. So I'm like, listen, I know you want to buy these dolls and I know you love Disneyland and we can't go to Disneyland.

How about you own some Disney? And she was like, how do I do that? It's like a, you buy stock. And so she's like, Wait a minute so I can own it. I can tell them my friends are on Disney and that's her whole thing bragging to her friends. And so, yeah, even just like 10 minutes before I hopped on with you, she was like, when are we going to go by Disney?

Ryan Sterling: [00:25:09] But, but I love that. Like, you should feel empowered. Like I own Apple stock. Yes. I walked by an Apple store. I see people at my company. That's right.

Naseema McElroy: [00:25:19] You're making me rich boo. Yes. Yes.

Ryan Sterling: [00:25:24] That's what I'm talking about. Exactly. So no, all day long. So, you know, and you know, it's one of those things, like if you don't want to be someone that's, you know, thinking about what stocks to buy, you know, I'm not telling everyone to be a trader, but there are ways that you can invest in the U S market with one click and that's through an index fund. So an S and P 500 index fund. If you buy a share of an S and P 500 index fund, you own the 500 largest companies in the US.

Naseema McElroy: [00:25:50] Thank you. Thank you. And that's decreasing the friction using that decreased friction for your own gain. So, yes, so, and I'm an index plan advocate because I think people think investing is trading, which isn't the same thing, but yes, I am like, listen, you want to own all the top companies that you love go by this index fund dollar cost average and forget it. Like it does not have to be that hard. It doesn't have to be that hard. It's just time like continuously investing your money is the amount of time you're in the market. And that's it. Like you don't have to being a super-duper entrepreneur.

You don't have to make billions of dollars to be rich. You just have to go from being a consumer to an owner.

Ryan Sterling: [00:26:31] Exactly. So I'm going to, I'm going to give you a case study here. So this is in the book. So it talk about the way to make money as a stock investor is own low cost index funds. Number one. So the S and P 500 invest in consistent increments.

So it could be a couple hundred dollars every month. Don't overthink it just the same amount every single month and hold for the longterm and you will make money. So here's a case study for you. So there's a woman in the book. Her name is Jody. She graduated college in summer of 2006. And when she graduated, she said at the end of every month, I'm going to save $500 and I'm going to only to invest it in an S and P 500 index fund.

So at the end of each month, $500 saved and invested in an S and P 500 index fund. This is June of 2006. So she started right away. And 2006 was a pretty decent stock market year. So, you know, she ended the first 12 months with a, I think a balance of like 6,500 with total contributions of 6,000.

And, you know, she just kept on doing it, but then she ended her entered the financial crisis and the financial crisis, the market basically lost half of its value peak to trough. In about a year, there was a point where Jody had contributions of over $15,000, but a balance of 9,500. So she was losing money, but she just kept up with the process $500 saved and invested at the end of each month.

Well, the market started to recover. She kept up with a process, nothing more, nothing less fast forward to today. Her balance is over $200,000. From $500 a month. Think about that. That's a night out. That's a pair of shoes and maybe a shirt or so, whatever it is a month, that's all. So instead of having a closet full of stuff or things that have been donated, she has $200,000.

That's closer, you know, getting her closer to living life on, on her own terms. So it doesn't take heroic actions. Right. So she's in her mid thirties right now with a balance of over $200,000 from just $500 a month. That's not including what she did in her 401k.

Naseema McElroy: [00:28:42] Exactly. That's outside of her retirement accounts. So she's pushing up against like a million dollars.

Ryan Sterling: [00:28:47] $500 a month.

Naseema McElroy: [00:28:48] It does not take much. And that's what I keep on telling people. People think that, Oh, that means that I have to like be super frugal and eat beans and rice. No, it doesn't. It just means that you don't trick off at target one, one day, just one day, you know,

Ryan Sterling: [00:29:06] Exactly a hundred percent and You know, it's you know, when people, when people tell me, though, when I hear that example on a piece of feedback I get, or pushback I get is, well, you know, like that's great for her. I'm 35. I'm already behind, Hey, guess what? Time's going to move and you're going to be 50 Sunday. So why don't you just start now?

And by the way, for the 50 year old, who says, well, that's great for the 35 year old, like you're going to be 65 someday. Start start now. I have clients who are in their sixties and there's a woman she's telling me recently. She's like, Oh gosh, I wish I would've started when I was 50. And it, it, it's amazing how we think about things.

It's too late. It's never too late. If you're in your mid thirties right now, if you're 40 right now, you can start today and I guarantee you, your future self, the age of 55 60 is going to be so happy. But you started today.

Naseema McElroy: [00:29:58] So I know I look young, you know, I had to have a baby face, but I didn't start on my journey until I was on my mid thirties.

And that was with triple figures in debt, Mike, mostly student loans, obviously. And just by making those shifts, like just being intentional about my money, it wasn't about making more money. It wasn't because I had reached this number. I was able to turn that around from six figures in debt. Two six feet, six figure net worth in three years just because I decided to get started.

So if I can just provide a little bit of inspiration for people who are in their mid thirties, there is hope.

Ryan Sterling: [00:30:34] I'll tell you a real quick story. So it was going to a wedding last year and as a friend of mine who is kind of classic higher earner, but over spender and she's trying to be better with her money.

So she wanted some help. So again, good friend. We're we're about to go to this wedding. We're meeting our friend at this hotel in Brooklyn. It's a super swanky hotel. And we go to the bar first, right. And it's overpriced, but you know, we're going to wedding, we're dressed up like. You know, w we, we can live life too.

Right? So we're at this bar and she and I are ordering drinks for people. And she goes out, I'll have a glass of champagne and the guy goes great. And I stopped. I said, hold up, just curious, you know, how much has it cost you? Champagne? And the guy goes up $30. Okay. It's $30. And she goes, Oh, do you have Prosecco?

And he goes, yeah. So how much has Prosecco? I goes $11. And she goes, Oh, well, I'll take the Prosecco and said, right. So, okay. Now by asking the price, she went from $30 to $11. Okay. So we didn't get just one round. We got two rounds. Okay. So with two rounds where we're having a good time we're ready to go to the wedding.

The wedding is open bar at the wedding. The wedding is five minutes away. So we call them Uber. The Uber is literally less than a couple of minutes away. And then she goes, let's all get another round. That's right. Hold on, hold on. Like the Uber is literally like two minutes away. Like why don't we just go outside and wait. We're going to be at the party in less than 10 minutes. And she goes, Oh, that makes sense. So just think about that. So it w without that intervention, She would have spent over $90 because she would have three glasses of champagne. Didn't realize they were $30 until she gets the bell. So instead of spending $90, and that's not including tip, she said spend $22 because you got two glasses of Prosecco.

That's just one decision in a half hour period. It's carved out $70. So you think about that $500, like it's not that hard to get to, if you just think about those little small actions and by the way, she was indifferent between champagne and Prosecco. And then again, with the third round, like we were leaving five minutes anyway, like this is not like a huge sacrifice in her life.  So I use that sample cause it just shows you how just little small actions and being mindful of it can make a big difference.

Naseema McElroy: [00:32:49] A big, big difference. And so Ryan, you have been droppinh gems, and I know if you're sharing these things that you have even more amazing and actionable things and steps that people can take in your book.

So let everybody know where they can find your book and what they can hope to learn from it.

Ryan Sterling: [00:33:08] Yeah, for sure. So the book is called a " You're making other people rich " a couple of different places. You can get it. I'd say Amazon is probably the, even though I rag on Amazon a lot, it's probably the easiest way to get it.

So amazon.com, you're making other people rich. You can also go to my personal website, Ryan serling.com. So Ryan certainly.com has more information about me. You can buy the book. There's a quiz. To find out your money personality. That's basically the receptacle where every way that I work with people is@ryansterling.com.

So Amazon or Ryansterling.com. Those are two best places to go. The book is divided up into three sections it's awareness, accountability action. So it starts with the awareness that. We're being exploited to consume. So it talks about the different ways retailers and marketers get us to over consume on a day to day basis, because we need to start with the awareness.

That's how that's, how I had to get started. The second piece is then the accountability. Okay. We have the awareness. Now we need to take the accountability to detach from being a consumer. And then the third section is action. So awareness, accountability, action. That's the trip that the book takes you through.

And really the idea is that you should finish the book, feeling empowered to go from being a consumer to an owner. This book's not about being perfect. It's not about, you know, numbers and projections and formulas. It's all about helping you redefine your relationship with money, and again, change your mindset from being a consumer to an owner.

Naseema McElroy: [00:34:34] And I love that because once people make that shift, they understand that instead of being a slave to working, because I have to bring in money, they can now make their money work for them harder than you could ever work for it. So I love what you're doing. I love your practical stories. I love that you took us on your journey and that you can relate to what most people are going through.

So I appreciate. You've taken time out to spend with us and to share your good word, because I know a lot of people can benefit from it. So thank you so much, Ryan. I really appreciate you.

Ryan Sterling: [00:35:09] Thank you. I have to say I do a lot of these and this was one of my favorite interviews. So you are awesome. Thank you so much. This is so much fun.

Hey there I’m Naseema

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