This Nurse Knows That Your Mindset Creates Your Health - Ep. 30
Victoria Albina, NP, MPH is a Certified Life Coach, Breathwork Meditation Facilitator & Holistic Nurse Practitioner on a mission to help women live with confidence and radical, unapologetic self-love. She shares that we all have what it takes within us to create the life that you want, starting right where you are.
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TRANSCRIPT:
Naseema McElroy: 04:38 Okay. So welcome to the Nurses on Fire. I have the honor of having my good friend MV on from a nursing school and MV has gone on from UCSF to do some amazing things. So I'm super excited for her to share her story if you guys know what she's up to. So MV, let us know what you're all about and I'll call you MV, but what do you really go by these days?
Victoria Albina: 05:06 So my name is Maria Victoria, which is why people were calling me MV. But yeah, most days go by Victoria, Victoria Albina but I like it.
Naseema McElroy: 05:14 You're so fancy now.
Victoria Albina: 05:17 Is that somehow more fancy?
Naseema McElroy: 05:19 Like Victoria is kinda like Royal, a little stuffy, a little more professional. MV, it's like you can kinda, you know, twist that like envy and it's kinda like cool, like envy me, you know. So I love MV and that's why it's always stuck with me. But you know, I like to respect your name and how you want to be called. So, you know.
Victoria Albina: 05:42 You really do like MV better, but you know, how where we are.
Naseema McElroy: 05:46 Yeah. But if you see something from her, it's gonna say Victoria. So just so you won't be confused.
Victoria Albina: 05:53 Nothing fancy, you know me. I need my second-hand sweater. Yeah.
Naseema McElroy: 06:00 I know right. We're sitting up in here in our comfy clothes 'cause it's cold and you know, we gotta do what we gotta do to stay warm, 'cause I ain't turning up the heat you guys, 'cause we're being financially intentional over here. Anyway, MV, let's talk about your background, like how you got into nursing because we both got into nursing as second, third, fourth careers and then we'll talk about your transition through your nursing career and then what you're working on right now.
Victoria Albina: 06:26 Okay. So, I came to the world of health because I was really, really sick. So I was really sick my whole life. I had like never ending, it seemed at the time IBS, but like the real bad IBS where you're like freaking miserable. Yeah. And you know, increased intestinal pressure leads to GERD. So I had like, Ooh, wicked GERD where like I often couldn't sleep through the night, was getting cavities. I mean like the bad, like it shows bad and we understand the science because we're nurses when your gut's a hot mess, your mood's a hot mess. So I was crying like intermittently depressed, anxious, lot of self doubt, a lot of, you know, not having self confidence and I really wanted to help other people to heal themselves. And I've always felt this really powerful. Like my overarching why is to be of service, right?
Victoria Albina: 07:25 Like I wake up every day and I put on pants 'cause I want to be of service in this world, particularly to other humans and women in particular who have been suffering how I suffered. So that's what brought me into the world of medicine. And before UCSF, before MEPN, I had got a master's in public health and was working in public health throughout Latin America, do building composting toilets, gray water recycling systems and organic gardens. So I know it was a blast. I used to say really obnoxious things like, Oh I'm so upset I can't come to your birthday party. I have to go to Cozumel this week. And people were like um.
Naseema McElroy: 08:04 Biaaahhh!
Victoria Albina: 08:07 Right 'cause I was like flying around the world doing these projects, which was amazing. But I missed that one on one. That like connection with humans that you get as a nurse.
Naseema McElroy: 08:20 Yeah. So then you went to MEPN, you did the nurse thing?
Victoria Albina: 08:25 Yeah. I've MEPN'd.
Naseema McElroy: 08:28 And MEPN stands for a Master's Entry to Nursing Program. So we did an accelerated nursing program through UCSF. But the thing about going through UCSF is when you apply for the program, you have to apply for a master's programs so you end up being a nurse practitioner or what else, a clinical nurse specialist or a nurse or what a master's degree. What program did you go into, MV?
Victoria Albina: 08:50 I'm a family nurse practitioner.
Naseema McElroy: 08:51 Oh yeah. We were in the same program the whole time. It was eight years ago and I still don't use my NP so you know, that's where I'm coming from. Yeah. All right. So, but you did.
Victoria Albina: 09:07 I did. I was a hospice nurse during the NP portion, which was so amazing.
Naseema McElroy: 09:13 Say that again. I don't think they heard you.
Victoria Albina: 09:16 I love dying people.
Naseema McElroy: 09:16 Yeah, the end of life is a real special period.
Victoria Albina: 09:19 Right. Well and you've worked in labor and birth. I mean just like transitions, right? They're my jam. 'Cause It's like such a time when so much loving support is needed in transitions. And I think just say it, you and I are special animals that we support people through that. Yeah. So I graduated UCSF and I did what we were trained to do. I worked in primary care, I worked in federally qualified clinics, which is the polite way to say often quite crappy health care for folks who don't have the money to get better healthcare. I did that. I worked in like County STD clinics. Whew. That was a journey.
Naseema McElroy: 10:00 So you have seen some sh*t, literally.
Victoria Albina: 10:03 Like I have seen a lot of private parts. Yeah. Moved up here to New York and I worked in a big primary care firm doing, you know, day in day out ,all the primary care, all the paps and the IUD and the colds and the appendicitis and the eczema and all that. And I have always been really, really interested in holistic medicine. And so I was sort of doing this like semi covert thing of like doing full functional medicine while at a primary care facility that was not about it. You know, you had to cut my teeth. I needed to like have some grownups around to help me understand like hey that's a 911call or like Hey sh*t ain't right there. Like what are you going to do about that? Right. And so I did that for Ooh it feels like forever. And then I started my, I went full rogue. I just was like I cannot anymore with us. And I realized that what we were doing within the allopathic Western medical framework was just bandaid, bandaid, bandaid, bandaid, bandaid. Right? So I stepped out of that and started a private practice three years ago doing full functional medicine.
Victoria Albina: 11:16 So functional medicine being deep root cause medicine had been training while I was a primary care provider as a life coach and was doing that like on the side like as my side hustle. Like literally during lunch breaks I would take clients and after hours, right? Like clinic would end and I would like sit in my office or go home and like coach people for hours, coach people on the weekends. Like it was my side hustle hard. And so I was running this functional medicine practice, loving it in a lot of ways because instead of giving people, you know, like a toxic chemical to help with their heartburn, I was giving them like the green alternative, like using licorice instead of [inaudible], using, you know, herbs like berberine instead of chemical antibiotics. And my patients were getting better for the most part. But what I realized was that the portion that worked or who weren't having lasting sustainable wellness, the root cause of that was not looking at their trauma and why not fully understanding that every GI patient is a trauma patient. Beginning, middle and end of story, like gut does not go out of whack if your nervous system is well regulated, like boom duffy null, end of story. You know what I mean?
Naseema McElroy: 12:36 But I've heard arguments like kind of the opposite. Like it's because your gut is out of whack, that your, you know? I mean it's cyclical, right? Chicken before the egg kind of thing, like basically our gut if it's not regulated either way, if we're not regulating it mentally or by what we're putting into our body, if it's not regulated, you're going to be jacked up. Bottom line.
Victoria Albina: 12:58 Yeah. Scientifically gain diagnosis jacked up.
Naseema McElroy: 13:01 That's the diagnosis.
Victoria Albina: 13:02 Yeah, look it up. Acidy 14 actually.
Naseema McElroy: 13:05 Fourteen now. It was nine when we were in school.
Victoria Albina: 13:11 Yeah I think so. Yeah, no, you're totally right. You know, the vagus nerve is the bi-directional super highway in which information flows from brain to body and body to brain. And I think that healing a leaky gut is a vital part of taking your health back regardless of what your actual diagnosis is. Like I'm hard pressed to come up with a diagnosis leaving aside a lot of the genetic things, right. Or congenital stuff. We'll just put that aside for now. That doesn't somehow find its link back to the gut. And so once we've like identified the parasite, the bacterial overgrowth, all of those sorts of things, we can kill those things off either using chemical antibiotics or herbal antibiotics. But what happens is, you know, so much of what happens in gut dysfunction, which is a major root cause of depression, anxiety, et cetera, eczema, psoriasis, et cetera, right?
Victoria Albina: 14:10 Like we can start to [whoosh] wheel this out, is that if your vagus nerve isn't firing appropriately, the migrating motor complex, which is the electric chemical signaling through your small intestine, it's never going to fire correctly if you're spending most of your life in sympathetic overdrive, right? So if your flight versus parasympathetic and within that particularly polyvagal theory would teach us that there's two branches to the parasympathetic. There's the ventral vagal, which is your safe and secure network, and then there's the dorsal vagal, which is shut down or freeze. And if you're spending most in sympathetic overdrive or endorsal freeze, like pulling a possum on life, which often doesn't look like actually collapsing, which is what depression looks like, right? It can look like, fine, okay, we can, you can have it your way. That's okay. Right? And so if we're spending our life in either of those two states versus that ventral vagal, that rest and digest state coming right back to the gut, you're never going to get rid of your small intestine bacterial overgrowth, your SIBO, because of that migrating motor complex isn't rolling, you're not going to move food along appropriately into the large intestine.
Victoria Albina: 15:28 So the peristaltic wave can take over and turn it into poop and get it actually get it out. Meanwhile, if the migrating motor complex isn't working, you're going to have gas build up with the small intestine because science and that's going to push up on the stomach and the cardio esophageal sphincter at the top of the, where the stomach meets the esophagus is much more likely to open, leading to reflux. Right? So yes, we got to kill the bug. We got to get the things the leaky gut healed up. And if you continue to have assault on the integrity of the gut lining secondary to your neurological states, right? Like your nervous system state rather, how long has that healing gonna last, 27 seconds. You know?
Naseema McElroy: 16:17 Yeah. Yeah. So to take it like at a higher level, take it out of the like the pathophysiological level and just in our day to day lives, what does that mean? Like if we're not healing our gut, how are we showing up in life?
Victoria Albina: 16:32 Was a bellyache with depression, with anxiety, with a reduced capacity to manage your mind. That feeds back into the gut dysfunction. So what I focus on in my practice as a nurse practitioner and a life coach is re-regulating the nervous system, healing your inner child, learning to repair it yourself on the daily, and then learning to manage your adult mind. So how are we showing up? Dysregulated? We're saying yes when we mean no. We're not having good boundaries. We're doubting ourselves. We're in one could call emotional childhood, which is when you blame other people for your problems, which is what little kids do because it's all they know how to do. Right? Oh, he made me feel bad. No baby. Your thoughts, your response to what he said. That's what's making you feel that. You can own that. Yeah. There's power in owning that.
Naseema McElroy: 17:29 It's about owning your sh*t, right? Like literally like owning your sh*t. Yeah. Literally. Yeah.
Victoria Albina: 17:36 Yeah. And so when we regulate these systems, when we regulate our nervous system and take power, right? Take back our power to control our own nervous system response, re-parent ourselves, which just means showing up as the parent that you may be wish you had had, right? The one who wasn't absent or wasn't controlling, right? Who showed up and co-regulated with you, which is another nervous system term co-regulation is frankly what we're so amazing at as nurses, right? You get to the bedside and your patient's like, yay, I farted. And your energy is like, yes, you did. And they're like, I haven't farted. You guys won't let me leave 'til I fart. And you're like, Oh, I hear you babe. That must be frustrating. As nurses, we are amazing co-regulators for other people's nervous systems. And what we get to recognize is that maybe we didn't get that as children to as adults co-regulate for ourselves. Right? And show up for ourselves as that most loving parents as a way to heal all of these systems.
Naseema McElroy: 18:44 Right. So now that's what you do in your practice every day. You help people work on that mindset piece, but also the gut healing piece. And so that it all ties together so people can overcome a lot of the symptoms that they're having around their digestive issues. Correct? Around their life. I mean, it's their life, right?
Victoria Albina: 19:06 It's their life and their gut gets regulated sort of as the byproduct of it all right? Your health comes into better balance when all those other pieces are on the right track.
Naseema McElroy: 19:18 Right. So you know, let's tie this back into money because I feel like that's something that, you know, once we get our mindset together, then you know, our money can be affected as a byproduct. And most people think that it's the opposite. Like, I have to throw up, I have to do all these things, make more money, and do all this stuff. But at the end of the day, it never really matters unless you get your mind right.
Victoria Albina: 19:45 Agreed. So I say about 20,000 times a day that the destination feels like the journey, right? So like it's new year's resolution time. So let's take weight loss and then we'll do finances. So you know, if you are getting up and going to the gym at 5:00 AM every day 'cause you hate your thighs and because if the story in your head is, Oh, if I just lose the 20 pounds and I'll like find the Prince charming of my life and then everything will be beautiful, it's like hmmm no, you're going to lose the 20 pounds and you're going to be like, well now my arms are flabby. Right. So the getting there feels like the getting there and when we apply that to mindset around money, like yeah, go make your first million. Tell me that feels good. You feel good or are you like, do you feel resolved in your soul or are you like, Oh sh*t, I only made $1 million this year. Let me go on. I need to make two, I need to make three and I'm not opposed to you making three or four 20 million. Right. I'm just saying that if the path to there, it's not, like you said, if your mindset's not right on it, getting to there is just going to feel as crappy as getting there. Yeah, exactly.
Naseema McElroy: 21:00 You're still going to be the same person when you get there and you still haven't resolved your issues. Nothing has changed.
Victoria Albina: 21:05 Yeah. Get right with yourself, your why, your motivation, what drives you. Right. And for me on this process, this was really challenging for me when I started coaching on the side 10 years ago 'cause it was like right in school I started training. I was like doing sessions for like 20 bucks. It changed but it was about valuing myself. It was about my worth. Like knowing my worth inherently. That was like really, really important. And you know, part of what kept me from charging my full value, my full worth and really connecting in with it and like getting really grounded in it was this story that my why is to be here to be of service which is real and can be aligned at the same time with a story that in that life is just a series of stories we tell ourselves, right, can be aligned with the narratives that and the understanding that for me to be of service, I need to live indoors, I need to be able to turn the heat on eventually, right? I need to invest in getting coached. Please do not trust a life coach who does not have a life coach. I need to make money. I need to value myself and make money so that I can be of service so that I can pay Lauren to coach me and Lauren can pay whoever the f**k she pays to coach her. You know, easy. That shift, that, the alignment of those understandings, that took me a hot minute. I would love your lifts to like connect with that sooner so that you can live into it. Right?
Naseema McElroy: 22:41 Right. It's really about investing in yourself because unless you do that, nothing is going to change. You're going to keep on waiting for things to change around you to affect you, but it's inside job, you guys, it's all internal and so you gotta work on yourself, but that is about investing in yourself and yes, in the internet of things, you can research all these things for free and you know, you think you can DIY your way to where you want to be, but truthfully, you need to really invest in yourself and you know, whatever medium works for you, but know that it's going to cost you a little bit of something to get to where you want to be. And especially if you're working on enhancing, working on your greater being and whether that's thinking that you have to be better, more healthy, you have to lose weight, you have to get your money right. It all ties into each other and it's all about just being intentional.
Victoria Albina: 23:41 Exactly. One of the things that has led me to make the most money is spending money on coaching. Every time I invest money on having someone outside of me, show me my mind, my business grows exponentially. And like in exact parallel, I'm a better coach, right? You can only take your client as deep as you're willing to go, right? And so if there's blocks in my brain, in my mindset, if there's old stories like playing like little cassettes in my brain because we're from the 70s where it was talking about cassettes, right? 'cause All cassette tapes that like my monkey mind, like hitting play and hitting play and hitting play on self-doubt, co-dependence, right? All these things, then I'm not in the best place to be of service and being of service and valuing my time and asking for the energetic exchange that I need in order to sustain my life so I can continue to be of service, right? That it's just not going to work.
Naseema McElroy: 24:40 So what advice do you have for the bedside nurse or that clinic NP that is constantly on this cycle of pouring into others? Not serving themselves and not where they want to be financially, health-wise in life in general.
Victoria Albina: 24:56 Yeah. Honestly, I think the best thing you can do is invest in coaching like seriously, we understand as science nerds, confirmation bias, your brain is always going to confirm the story that you think is a fact. So if you think you need to again go to the gym 'cause no one will love you until you lose 20 pounds. Until someone outside you is like, I'm sorry, wait, let's look at that like I'm about this story. Let's shift this story. It's impossible for your human brain to see it because your brain will continue to confirm the story that you already believe. We have a bias towards these old beliefs. It's just a thought you've thought over and over and over and over again until there's a neurological loop tied to it, a neural loop, right? And your brain is like, Oh well that's the path we take. That's the path we take. And so we need someone external to us to be like, hmmm.
Naseema McElroy: 25:56 Yeah, you can create a new belief. Guess what? Yeah, it's just like that. Just create a new one. Yeah. Create a new one.
Victoria Albina: 26:05 Meaning step of having someone help you to see your own mind. That's been the single most, I mean, forget my owner, Kay and my SEP, like all those investments. Right? The most important investment of my life has been having someone show me my mind, right. I'd still be charging $20 an hour. I wouldn't have a podcast that just hit 100,000 downloads.
Naseema McElroy: 26:31 Hey, congratulations! And we're going to put a link to your podcast in the show notes, so don't worry about that, but let's talk more about your business and what you have been able to accomplish as a nurse because you are able to break some of those mindset barriers that hold a lot of people back in nurses in general.
Victoria Albina: 26:52 Yeah. Right. And nurses in general, because I think most of us come to this practice of dedicating our lives to giving because receiving is really hard. Yeah. And I think that's the crux of the money nurse, that whole issue, right? Is that we're like, no, no, no. Let me give to you. Let me give to you. Let me give to you, but someone's like, no, no, let me complete this energetic exchange. Let me give to you. And we're like, Oh no, no, I'm fine. I'm here to be of service. Right? That like martyr place, that overworker place, that like place where it's hard to receive. That keeps us from, you know, success is a complicated term, right? But from getting what we want and need in the world financially as well as energetically. It's energetic, right? It's an energy change. And so if you're showing up at a job and the energy exchange doesn't feel like it's supportive of you and your life, you're pouring from an empty cup.
Victoria Albina: 27:53 Right? You're giving more than you actually have to give, which means you're not being a very good nurse for your patient. Right. And I know that's like, that sounds really harsh and it sounds kind of like just saying it, it's like kind of heartbreaking. But if you do not have the financial resources or the energetic resources to create space in your life for your own self care, damn. When your alarm goes off at 3:00 AM, you're really gonna jump up and like go help someone co-regulate their nervous system by giving them tons of compassion and empathy. Like really? And I know that's very like hospice folk nuts. It's all nursing focused wound clinic. It's L & D, it's all of it, right? 'cause What patients, you know, doctors, what does that? Doctors care, nurses heal. Right. And it's like if we are not healing our own money wounds, our own value wounds, our own self-confidence wounds.
Victoria Albina: 28:55 Like if we are not healing those stories within us that like, Oh I'll just take what I'm given. I won't push for more. I don't want to be a bother. Right. If we're not healing the places those stories come from, I don't know how you're showing up at work with full heart. Right. And like no wonder we get burned out. You get burnt out and you know, how can you plan for a future if you are really just surviving day to day? Yeah. Whether it's emotionally or like the number of zeros on your check, right? If you are just fixated on like, let me get through this day and let me get through this day. Let me get through this day. How are you going to ask for a raise? How are you going to ask to shift the days from nights? How are you going to insist that they honor that weekend differential? How are you going to go back to school and get your master's and be fancy like us, right?
Naseema McElroy: 29:50 Yeah. So how can people access the services that you provide MV and talk a little bit about your podcast and what you do on your podcast or what you talk about on your podcast.
Victoria Albina: 29:59 Yeah, so my podcast is called Feminist Wellness. It's on, yay. It's on iTunes and Stitcher and Pandora and Spotify. It's like on all the things that comes out every Thursday. And the focus is what we've been talking about today. Mindset, psychology, polyvagal theory, healing the nervous system, inner child and parenting work and the overall container for that, for all of that is life coaching. In how to manage your adult mind so that you can show up for your life the way you want to show up for your life. It's really fun. I love doing it. And since this is a financial show, it is my sliding scale, right? So it's how I am of service without the goal of receiving. Like make it to put it out there in the hopes that like women in New Zealand and Nebraska and Detroit and Brooklyn, all hear it and gain some value from it so that's like be of service part of my soul in an accessible way because it's literally free for the entire world. And then I am working, I'm still taking a couple of people here and there for one on one life coaching, which is so, I just love it so much Naseema. People show up and are so vulnerable and open and like want support and I'm just so honored to be able to provide it and to use the last 20 years of experience in training to show people their minds so they can see these mindset gaps in the places they're like feeding into that sympathetic dominance or not showing up as a good parent for their own inner child or are showing up as an emotional child versus an emotional adult for their day to day life.
Victoria Albina: 31:45 I love it so much. And the next offering that's coming up in April of 2020 is a 6-month, it's going to be small group. I'm going to keep it small so it's really intimate and really sweet and so we can go really deep but group coaching, so it's going to be an online offering for six months. It's going to be really high touch so people can really get in there and do the work. And I'm so excited. I also teach breathwork. Yeah, it's really, it's amazing. So it's a pranayama breath work meditation and so it's pretty psychedelic, pretty life changing and transformational. I lead groups here in New York and I'm going to start traveling to lead them soon. And I have an online class that people can hop into. I'll make sure to send you the link, but it's a way to do breathwork at home, which particularly for folks with a trauma history can be really, really beautiful because you're not trying to co-regulate to like a room full of 20 people.
Victoria Albina: 32:39 Also doing this breathing exercise, you get to do it alone in your bed, quiet, you know, with your cat with you, your dog. So it feels just more accessible and so that's really nice. I'm excited about that offering.
Naseema McElroy: 32:55 That sounds awesome.
Victoria Albina: 32:56 Yeah. Thank you. I'd actually love to share what I do this for your, the folks listening. We'll do a breathwork little gift. I'll send you the link to that. So, it'll be a nice free thing to share with your audience to say thanks for listening and thanks for taking care of yourself.
Naseema McElroy: 33:13 Awesome. That would be amazing. So definitely there'll be a link for you to click to get that free breathwork exercise by MV. So MV, in closing, anything else you just want nurses who want to do better financially but are struggling with wherever they are in life? Any closing parting words for them?
Victoria Albina: 33:37 Yes. Babes, we need to value ourselves. I think we are so vital. You're out there working to support people often in one of the most challenging moments of their lives or their family's life. And we are the person in the room who sees the whole picture, right? We see who's coming to visit and who's not. We're seeing, right? We're seeing what's left on that food tray. We're seeing the 3:00 AM crying down. We're seeing the panic. We're seeing like all of it. And so it's a lot. It's a lot to do. It's a lot to hold and if you are not managing your mindset around it, if you are showing up to work with an empty cup, like maybe you're just gonna I'm sorry, but you're going to end up another statistic of nurses who drop out of the practice, quit being nurses because your nervous system said no. Burnout is upon you, right? With the lack that comes with it, the lack of compassion for self and others and I know that you can get ahead of it and I know that you can ask for that raise and that better schedule and that birthday off.
Victoria Albina: 34:45 You know like all the things that we get to negotiate as nurses and you get to do all of that by understanding that there is nothing in life that makes you feel anything. Life is completely neutral until you put a human thought on it. So if you're suffering in your day 'cause like the person in bed for is a total jerk, maybe that's just a story you're telling, right? Or you know, your boss is like horrible, right? Like we get trapped in these stories of blaming others for how we're feeling. That's where I'm going, Naseema. That like we get trapped in these stories that would tell us the way we feel as external. It's happening to us. And what I want to empower nurses to do is to take it back, right? Take your emotional state, your energetic state back, and recognize that you have the power to create the life you want. Starting with the thoughts you're having about the life in front of you and things that you cannot change, like people, places and things.
Naseema McElroy: 35:45 So, surprise! You thought you were going to get a budgeting tip. No, it's really about how you're showing up in life and you are a product of your habits and of your behaviors and the things that you do. So everything that you have in life right now is because of who you are being. So guess what? If you want to do better financially, just start being the person that does better financially and then things will change. And this is all about taking care of you and making sure you're investing in yourself. So thank you so much, MV, now, I keep on calling you MV, but I should be calling you Victoria, sorry, for sharing with us because this is so insightful and I think a lot of people just think that they can fix problems by throwing pills and just like they can fix their finances by just making more money.
Naseema McElroy: 36:44 It doesn't work like that. So you know, my job here is to show you what you really need to do to just be better in life in general, but through the scope of your finances. So we can start in this one place. Then we can see that once we get intentional about our finances, then intentionality just tends to flow over in other areas in our life. So again, thank you so much MV. Every place that you can reach out MV will be in the show notes. So just make sure you click on the show notes to get in contact with MV and we'll have access to her special breathing exercises in there. So you don't want to miss out on this because I really feel like this is life-changing. So again, thank you. Thank you so much. I appreciate you being on the Nurses on Fire podcast, and I know this is gonna be transformational for a lot of people.
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