How to Get Off The Struggle Bus - Expert Edition Episode 28 (Classic Episode)
In this episode, our guest Leisa Peterson, a certified financial planner, discuss the concept of focusing on possibilities rather than struggles. We explore how scarcity and fear can hold people back from exploring different opportunities and playing to win in life. Leisa explains three money fears that often trap individuals: fear of power and authority, fear of the past, and fear of being responsible. We emphasize the importance of healing and taking responsibility for one's mindset to regain power and curiosity, highlighting the significance of embracing possibility, dreaming, and believing in oneself to open up new opportunities for growth and abundance. We also share a listener's story about giving herself permission to aspire to become a millionaire and the encouragement to others to do the same.
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TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Naseema: All right, nurses on fire. We are back with our certified financial planner, Lisa Peterson. As always, it is a pleasure for you to be joining us. Hey Lisa. Hello
[00:00:15] Leisa: Naima. Hello,
[00:00:16] Naseema: listeners. So we are going to continue talking about the Mindful Millionaire Book, and congratulations on the release, the official release of the book.
Today, July 14th. Yay. Congratulations on that, awesomeness. Thank you. We're gonna dive into a concept that you talk about in the book, and that is, how people focus on what I like to call the struggle versus what's possible for them. How was that holding them back?
[00:00:52] Leisa: Yeah, I think it's a lot of things, first it's just that myopic vision that you have when things aren't going right, when there's a lot of scarcity.
When you feel all you're thinking about is not enough, not enough, not enough, and you can't think about what are the possibilities, what are the ways that we could do something different here? And so, that's one part of it. The other that's coming up is, The idea that we are often in life, playing not to lose versus playing to win.
Mm-hmm. And I, this is like a huge lesson that we all kind of need to hear over and over again because we get confused by the whole message of, of like, what is it all about to invest and to take risk and. When we are not trapped in scarcity, we are better able to look at all the opportunities and think, well, how can I win here?
Rather than saying, oh, can't do that cuz I might lose. Can't do that cuz I might lose. And before you know it, you're, you've talked yourself out of everything and I think this is a pattern we wanna be really careful about getting trapped in.
[00:02:05] Naseema: Yeah, I, I love that I was writing down like, dang, that's awesome.
Playing not to lose, but playing to win. And I think a lot of times people are afraid of failure, right? It's a fear thing. It's a fear-based thing. And so as a protective mechanism, they wanna make sure that, they cross their Ts and dot their I, but really they're just, paralyzing themselves and.
I often find that my biggest lessons come through failures and things that in stumbling blocks in my life. But I also know that these are things that pe hold people back too, you know? Totally,
[00:02:45] Leisa: totally. It's funny cuz I was looking in the book cuz I'm like, fear is the big thing. And I was curious cuz I, it's not like I've memorized all of these, but in the book I explain three or four money fears that I feel like really, really snag people.
So is it okay if I give you those?
[00:03:06] Naseema: Yes, please.
[00:03:07] Leisa: Number one is fear of power and authority. Now, this is a fascinating one because this is what I determined in my research is that many of us have been raised with this sort of carrot and stick mentality, that you do the right thing and then you get the reward.
Follow me. But the problem is, is that after a while, if we have my case, my dad was very, I mean, we would get spanked. There was a lot of discipline. And the problem with that is after a while, we actually start fearing those who have the power. Who have the authority because we're so afraid of getting hurt and this, and it works in the job environment too.
If you don't do what we want you to do, you're not gonna get the bonus. Right? You're not gonna get the raise. And if you speak out about something that we don't want you to speak out about, then we're, you're gonna be penalized. You see how this goes? Mm-hmm. So the challenge is, is that we must come to terms with a healed form of understanding what true power is.
Not authority and power over, but power with. Yeah.
[00:04:23] Naseema: Yes. You can feel that. Yes. Totally. And the power that we individually have and that we so willingly give up when we, you know, just fall, get approval to our fear. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So
[00:04:40] Leisa: we are afraid of our p, our power and our authority rather than embracing and leaning into it.
And when we lean into our power with money, for example, this is what we've been talking about for several weeks, right? Like the importance of feeling like a powerful person. What is it gonna take for you to do that? And I just, it's all of these are gonna be a little bit of an example of that Horrible saying.
I just don't know what else to say other than it, it's like throwing the baby out with the bathwater like, You're throwing it all out, not holding onto the parts of power that we need to keep. So that's one of the challenges with fear. The other one is fear of the past. Like there's then things that didn't work out in the past and we are holding 'em as if they were like, they happened yesterday and we won't take risks because that person took advantage of me.
And therefore all financial advisors are bad. Not true, but that's what we do. So fear of the past. Another is fear of being responsible. Now, I don't know if everybody's gonna understand this, but I know in my own life, Because I came from so much trauma, I found growing up that it worked for me to blame others.
Like if I could blame others, then I deflected the responsibility of something not working out. And for me it was like I didn't wanna accept responsibility that my life was really shitty growing up. See. So instead of accepting responsibility that it's kind of shitty, which is really tough when you're little, right?
I mean, it's not like we think that way, but we keep those patterns later in life and you're just blamed, bla it was my husband's fault, it's my child's fault, it's my mom's fault, it's my dad's fault, it's my employer's fault. Like it's never ending. And when we do that, we never turn the attention to like, what can I control?
What can I do differently? Does that make any sense to you?
[00:06:39] Naseema: Yeah. And, and I, I, and I understand how people can have a difficult time grasping that because it's just like, well, how can, how can we be responsible for the things that happened to us as a child? And I love the way that you said. Because those are the stories that you're holding onto.
So it's not what happened to you, it's what you're choosing to do with that information or with that experience and how you're carrying that forward. And so that's what we have the responsibility of. And so I, I really like that. That's powerful. Um, because now that we know that, We can shift that.
Yeah. Because a lot of it is subconscious. So how do we focus on possibility instead? Yeah,
[00:07:24] Leisa: it's great. So what we need to do, first and foremost, each of those have different things that are going on inside of us, right? And all my work is. Oriented back to how do we look inside of ourselves to decide why am I behaving a certain way and what can we do to heal that Now?
Take responsibility for it, own it. Get some help. Use a coach. Take a class. Focus on your mindset. I mean, this is where mindset training you. People may hear about it. They're like, yeah, I worked on my mindset. First of all, you are never done with your mindset until you take your last breath, you will not be done.
So don't use that excuse. Yes, we're all on the path, but I learned something new about my mindset every single day, and I've been studying it for 21 years. Okay, so there's always opportunity to see something that it's like hidden corners that we're missing in the room. So we pay attention to those hidden corners.
We bring them back. We reintegrate those parts of ourselves. This is how we regain our power. This is how we rega regain our curiosity. Curiosity is amazing when we get really curious, free of all the. Stuff of the past. We ask really good questions. We make sure that if somebody's trying to pull the wool over our eyes, they're not gonna be able to do that because we're so curious.
We just bombarded them with questions like it's fun. And so curiosity is the beginning of possibility. It opens the door to a whole new way of being is it just changes everything.
[00:09:05] Naseema: Yes. Yes. I love that. I love that because I really feel like,
especially when we get older, Possibility. Seems like dreaming and dreaming seems like something that you're, you do as a kid, and that's not something that we're supposed to do as an adult because we're supposed to be practical and tactical and, focused on what reality is, even though, you know, that's really subjective.
But yeah, I, I just, I love the word possibility in itself because it just, to me, represents an endless amount of abundance and what's available to me. And I'll often use possibility because, or just what's possible. Because I do want people to tap back into that imagination and back into those dreams because I feel like we put ourselves in a box and we can't grow, and we get stuck into the, in these patterns that perpetuate generational poverty, that perpetuate all these things that hold us back in life.
And if we can just allow ourselves to dream and then. Believe that those dreams are possible for us. I really feel like it opens the world up and so I just wanna emphasize the fact that you guys, everybody out there has the capacity to just decide. To stop focusing on the struggle and decide to instead focus on possibilities.
It's within our power. We don't have to get permission from anybody else, take back our power and do that, and I really feel like a whole new world will open up to you. Yeah,
[00:11:02] Leisa: I think I would just add to that, and I love everything you just said, like such a great summary is. The other day, I was talking to someone who's been taking my classes for a few years and she said, I want you to know that never in my life did I think about the possibility of me becoming a millionaire.
And a few days ago I was sitting with my boyfriend, who she's like, turns out he's a millionaire. And I didn't even know. And she says to him, I, I think I wanna be a millionaire. And he's like, well you need to own that. You know, like if you really believe that, like I need you to say that. Not, I think maybe own it.
And she's like, I want to be a millionaire. And then she's sharing this with me cuz I mean, I planted the seed and she's like, I want to be a millionaire. And I finally, Am willing to give myself permission to go, make it happen. Like I'm gonna hold that possibility for myself and I mean, ev everyone listening to us today, it's like, just for a moment, just suspend reality for one minute and just allow that little kid that first heard right about this idea of a millionaire.
And welcome that part of you in who, who's curious and wants to play and wants to have a lot of fun. Cuz it's, we don't want that to be like a, a painful, wish that you take on, but like a joyous wish that you take on. It's like, I wanna do that for myself. I wanna create a legacy for myself, my family, like first time millionaire.
What about that? Let's
[00:12:37] Naseema: do it. Yes. I love it. Ah, just gives me chills. I mean, I know it's possible for me, it's something that I have owned my whole life, but I think that a lot of people do have negative stigmas about like wealth and what that means and what, how to get to a million dollars, like what that would look like.
And so release that. Release it and fully embrace that you too can become a mindful millionaire.
[00:13:08] Leisa: Yes. And all we got, that's what we're here for. Yes. Like we're gonna help you figure it out. You don't have to have all the answers. We just need you to lean in.
[00:13:18] Naseema: Yes. Just believe. Just believe in the possibility.
So, thank you, Lisa again for a wonderful episode. Thank you. Thank
[00:13:28] Leisa: you. Thank you everybody. It's so fun to hang out with you.
[00:13:32] Naseema: Yes, you're the best.
Hey there I’m Naseema
My dream is for everyone to know that financial independence is attainable with a little intentionality. Learn how I can help you finally break the cycle of living paycheck to paycheck.
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