Motherhood and Money - Episode 26
Are you setting a good financial example for your kids? Join us as we chat with Raquel Curtis, "The Boujee Banker," about how she overcame life's setbacks to create a successful brand helping women worldwide achieve financial freedom. Raquel shares her inspiring journey of learning to budget, invest, and save after a car accident emptied her bank account and forced her to close her businesses. She also talks about how she's teaching her daughter to develop healthy money habits and achieve financial independence.
In this episode, you'll learn about budgeting for moms, financial planning, investing, and creating sustainable online businesses. Raquel's story proves that with the right mindset and strategies, anyone can overcome financial challenges and achieve success. Don't miss this chance to gain valuable insights into managing your money as a mom and setting a positive example for your children.
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TRANSCRIPT:
Naseema: [00:00:00] All right. What's up? My financially intentional people today? You're in for a treat because I am joined by Raquel Curtis, the banker. What's up girl?
Raquel: Hey girl. I'm excited to be here. Happy birthday. Happy Mother's Day. Happy all
Naseema: all of those things. Happy Mother's Day to you two. You were our fellow girl, mom of three. You have three girls too, right?
Raquel: I do. So you pray for me as I pray for you.
Naseema: Sending all the love, all the hormones, all of those things that go through these houses are a lot. But it puts us in this really unique position. Because I really started my platform because, I'm a girl mom and a lot of my friends have girls, and I just feel like.
The way that we raise our kids has to be different than the way that we were raised. And We have this goal and this mission to raise up these [00:01:00] young women in a way so that they can opt out of a lot of the BS that we had to go through, in our journeys. But first I wanna kind of just back up and talk about like your money story, because it you went on an incredible journey and
Raquel: was ghetto.
Naseema: And listen, but it's so real and so many people can learn from that. So I just want you to kind of talk about like how you got into personal finance, like what stemmed that, because it came from, a little bit of tragedy.
Raquel: Yeah. You know what's so funny is I never thought I would even be in this space because when I went to school, I went to school for criminal justice, and the reason why was because we were only required to take one semester of math. Like I was so anti numbers. I was like, yeah, let me learn about these laws real quick.
But I got my undergrad from Savannah State University in criminal justice, became a correctional [00:02:00] officer, so that was amazing. I actually really enjoyed the process and I thought that was gonna be my career trajectory. Right.
Unfortunately though, while I was pregnant with my. Now 10 year old. There were two inmates that got into a fight in the hall, and I was the only officer who was in the hall at that time. And I don't know if it was just like, I'm thinking they gotta stop fighting, like I'm thinking that. So I rushed to go stop the fight and one of the inmates fell on my stomach, so I know.
So at that point I was put on bedrest for the duration of my pregnancy. I moved from Savannah, Georgia to Atlanta, Georgia, and I just became a stay-at-home mom. And while there's nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom, I loved everything I did for my family. I just felt like I didn't go to school for four years.
I didn't start a career to be at home. I wanted to continue to grow and develop and see where my path led me. We wanted to put her in childcare so I could go explore this option. [00:03:00] However, paying for childcare is like paying for rent.
Naseema: Yes,
Raquel: It's like paying a mortgage.
Naseema: A hundred percent.
Raquel: We couldn't afford it and it just was more cost effective for me to stay in the home.
But I had this great idea. I was like what if I worked at the daycare that we couldn't afford for her to go to? So that way she's amongst peers, she's learning, growing, and I'm out the house. I can go talk to other people.
Naseema: Yes.
Raquel: While I was there, I had a degree and I was making $7 and 25 cents an hour.
So I think that in itself just speaks to the sacrifices that we're willing to make, because for somebody to say they have degree and to make minimum wage that, that says a lot about their current financial situation, right? At this point I'm, paying attention to management, the owners, and I'm like, this doesn't seem like something I can't figure out how to do.
So I started to take my CDA classes on the weekend, which is like a child development certification, and I got certified. I [00:04:00] then started to watch children on the weekends, which bled into the weekdays, and then I had a full in-home daycare
Naseema: Love it.
Raquel: I was like, we did that. Okay. Until I realized I really didn't like watching other people's kids and then coming home to my own kids.
Naseema: 24 hours.
Raquel: it was too, it was too taxing. But it introduced me to being an entrepreneur.
Right. And so I feel like once you get introduced to that, it's really kind of hard to let tho that thought process go. And after, years pass forward, later after my youngest was born. I snapped back really fast, right?
Like I was proud of my little shape and other women would ask me, they were like, how did get, how did you get back in shape so quickly after you had your baby? And I'm like I played sports in college. It's I'm used to working out and stuff like that. So they were like would you mind helping me?
So I'm like, okay, yeah, sure. So I started helping these women and turned out I was good at it. [00:05:00] And so I was like, okay, I should probably get certified.
So I got certified as a personal trainer. And then it's so funny because a few months after that I was helping probably over 50 or so women.
And I started doing some stuff online with it and I was able to open up the first women's only gym with childcare in my city, which I thought was so cool. Yeah. And once again, I'm like, here we are. Okay. This is what I'm gonna do. I made it and everything was good. You know, I had a 1700 square foot building.
I had Seven employees. I say 12. I say this story so much, it's either 1200 or 1700, one of them. But I had seven employees. And it was cool. But you know, unfortunately one day I was headed home from work and an older guy, he was 84 years old, he ran a red light and he t-boned me. So I girl, I was in a neck brace for six months.
I had over 16 spinal injections [00:06:00] and. In that moment, everything that I built up, just I lost everything. Like I spent months. I spent months watching my account bleed cause I'm thinking I'm gonna come back to the gym. It just never happened.
And so all of my accounts closed out in the negative. It caused a significant strain on my relationship with the financial situation.
We went from being, a two income earner household with two income earner bills to a one income earner household with two income earner bills. It was really hard, we needed food stamps. We couldn't qualify for them. There were times where we were making sure the kids ate and we were lying saying we ate to make sure the other person ate, and Things got kind of rough during that period.
He went to Seattle. I stayed, in Georgia with the girls. And so at this point, when I was able to start working again, I was working two or three jobs. I worked front desk at Hampton Inn. I worked overnight doing security with Allied Barton at FedEx, and I sold life insurance.
And so in my mind, what I'm doing is I am. Trying to [00:07:00] get back to this lifestyle that I lost, right? As owning as the owner gym and all that, and. It took me a while to realize that I was still living paycheck to paycheck.
Even though we were doing stuff, I realized I would have decisions to make sometimes oh, am I gonna, oh, should I put, should I postpone this power bill to make sure my kids get what they want for Christmas?
Or should I negotiate such and such to make sure I'm taking care of things with my girls? And I was like, this is I'm so stressed out. Like I realized that I was living in survival mode, and so I looked at my daughter's. And I was like, I do not want this to be their future. I don't want them to be an adult and have the same situation.
So I, that's when I popped on YouTube and I was like, Let me find, I was looking at all the YouTube videos, all the free templates, all the workshops, and it was so crazy because they would work, but they would work for a week or two weeks, and then life would happen, and I would go right back to the same financial, habits.
So I was like, all right, if this stuff is working for everybody else and [00:08:00] it's not working for me, then the problem has to be me. So what do I need to do to fix that? And that's when I started asking myself these deeper rooted questions around like my relationship with money, my habits, my financial triggers.
And once I got down to the root of that, I was able to create a budget that actually worked for my life. And I was able to stick to that. And from there I got into man saving like crazy. I started investing heavily and it was just, Like a whole 180 on my life.
And at this time though, I'm still working these multiple jobs.
So my friend, she was like, have you ever thought about becoming a banker because you've gotten really good with money? And I was like, no girl. I don't like, no, I don't like math, I don't like any of that. I don't do that. And she was like, but you'd be good at it. And me thinking about them, good benefits, dental, vision, health, all those things, I was like, yeah, I could do one job.
Let's do that.
I became a banker best job of my life[00:09:00]
Naseema: Really.
Raquel: why I was the best job ever, and the reason why I loved it so much was number one, there was consistency, right? Being a mom and raising three girls by myself, It was, I needed the consistency of the schedule. And then number two, I was able to help people who were in financial situations that I've gotten myself out of.
We were required to open accounts and credit cards and stuff like that, but I'm looking at your account and I'm seeing negative. I'm like, no, come on. Have you ed that poor dad? Okay, lemme build this budget for you. And they would come sit with me. Every time they got paid and they would watch themselves come out of that financial situation.
So for me, that was like the victory, right?
COVID happens, of course, and we were considered essential employees, so I was thinking I was fine. My manager asked me to come in the next day. And I'm thinking, okay, cool. We're slow. You need help opening up. I get there. Her car is the only car parked outside.
So I'm like, okay, [00:10:00] all right. So I go inside and she says, unfortunately due to the pandemic, we had to make some decisions so we're gonna have to let you go. And not only did they let me go, but they let three other or two other bankers in my branch go. And then I found out when I called hr, snot nose crying all the way home.
Cause I'd never been fired before. Right.
Naseema: God.
Raquel: They were so sad on the phone because they said, all we've been getting all day is calls from people being let go. They said thousands of bankers were let go of that day,
Naseema: Oh
Raquel: and so I made a decision. I was like, you know what? I just want to. Keep doing what I've been doing.
It felt too good to help people. And between December 3rd, 2020 and today, my brand is operational in 30, over 30 countries. I wrote a book, my book has sold in over seven countries, and I'm impacting and inspiring women all over the world to just get it together financially, and I just love it.
Naseema: Oh my God. Such [00:11:00] an incredible story. There's two like big things that I really wanna pull out of there though.
You said that, you have been looking at the tools on YouTube and things would work for a little while and they. And then they wouldn't like, and you really had to do some like thinking and some like internalizing, what is really going on?
What conclusion did you come to at that point? What was your trigger? What was it that kept you in this cycle of not being able to manage your money? And then what actually flipped that for you?
Raquel: Yeah, of course. So for me it was just, Impulsivity by nature, like we're consumers by default. As a mom, you wanna do the things for your kids, you want them to have all the fun, you want them to, wear the cute clothes and all that stuff. And so I realized that I was compromising certain things in our lives to make sure that they had these surface level [00:12:00] things.
And For me, it was realizing I need to set some boundaries around myself.
I need to set some boundaries around what I allow and say yes to for my kids. Right. And create some structure there.
So for me, that was the real aha moment of what I'm doing is not really serving them long term. Yeah.
Naseema: Yeah, I love that because it's, what people don't understand is that we are sold consumerism 24 hours a day and for most of our lives, so to be impulsive to wanna spend is something that even is ingrained in our kids because, They see all the commercials, they see all the videos. They're asking for all of these things, only because it's what's presented to them on a regular basis.
So it is so ingrained in us to spend. Instead of actually use money as a tool, that [00:13:00] process is really hard. And it's almost if you don't intentionally work on making sure that you're reversing those messages or using those messages to your advantage, like for example, if my kids as soon as they're able to verbalize or identify things like a McDonald's sign or a Disney or all of those things, like instead of saying of course, yeah, we can be consumers of these things, but we can also be owners like, and then transferring like using that information to kind of understand how they can invest and grow money and all of those kind of things. But if we're not like constantly reinforcing those messages, we're gonna fall back into this habit of being a consumer. And so there's a lot of things that we have to do upfront, to reverse that messaging and constantly do, cuz I think people.
Like you probably thought if I could [00:14:00] just do one thing and fix that, it'll change my finances. But then you've learned over time it was like habit stacking of all these things that you had to do. So I really wanna know like what tools really work for you to reverse that mindset.
Raquel: Yeah, absolutely. And it's so funny while you were talking about that, I was thinking about like all the things that I did with my kids to kind of switch that too. Because it's a requirement. We are definitely taught to be consumers. So the thing that I did was I sat down and I started asking myself, Some of the harder questions like my relationship with money did not start at me being 18.
My relationship with money did not start at me with me having children. It started when I was a child. Much like we're having the conversation of changing the conversation with your children, I had to go back and think, okay, where did my relationship with money start? And. What are the things that I need to actively work at correcting or improving so that I don't fall back into these same habits?
Right? For me, I started to ask myself, what was [00:15:00] my dad's relationship with money? Was my mom's relationship with money? What did that look like for me? What were their discussions around money? How did they behave with their money? I started asking myself, what are some of the way, the reasons why I spend money?
Randomly or impulsively when I'm happy. What about when I'm angry or tired or bored? Why am I randomly spending money on these various things? And then I started to create if they statements. So if. I know that I'm impossibly spending my money when I'm in a good mood cuz we're good for a cookout.
Somebody call us to come to a cookout, we are out,
Naseema: Yes.
Raquel: door, we about to eat good. And then they might call us on the way and be like, oh, could you pick up some ice? Could you pick up some cups? They might do that. So it might be because you're in a good mood and you wanna celebrate, but is that allocated?
It's free spending allocated within your budget for you to be able to have those random expenses, and when it came to the negative Emotions that were attached to me and possibly spending money such as, depression, all those type of things. I would say, okay, if I am stressed, then my [00:16:00] response is taking a warm candlelit bath, which doesn't cost me anything, versus hopping on Amazon or fashion over, or sheen or going to pick up, whatever.
So that became the conversation that
I became very financially intentional about making sure that I was sticking to this new system that I was putting together for myself. But none of those other things worked because I was looking at it from a numbers perspective. All of the workshops, all of the templates, all of the, whatever free resources I could find online.
They all talked about numbers, but the numbers didn't matter because it was, the habits were the reason why I was not able to stick to the numbers. So once I got that together, the budget part was easy.
Naseema: Yeah. What kind of budgeting works for you?
Raquel: So I have the keep it simple cis rule. That's my rule, y'all. What I do and what I, this is how I started out. I picked to the last three months of my full statements, right? And I took two [00:17:00] highlighters, one highlighter, I highlighted all of my wants. One highlighter. I highlight all, highlighted all of my needs, and then I would go down and I would.
Total up each individual month. And I noticed that I was literally spending, if not the same, more than what my needs were per month. And so that's when I realized, I was like, oh, we can switch this up. So things have to change. So I identified where I wanted to direct my funds to go, opposed to my statements telling me where they went.
Naseema: So telling your money that where to go in advance instead of just letting your life dictate your spending is like one of the biggest game changers. How long do you, would you say it took you to like really get your budgeting system down?
Raquel: I would say probably six months or so, because it became fun to me because I realized what I was do. I was like, oh, I do, I'm not broke. It became fun. It became like a game, and you, when you get that level of control over your finances, [00:18:00] people like to think, oh, you budget because you're broke.
Everybody has a budget. Okay? Even millionaires have a budget. That's why they have accountants and CPAs to tell them what they can and cannot spend. But the budget gives you control to say, this is what I want to do, this is how I'm going to do it. Yeah.
Naseema: That's, that is like facts because actually that's how my platform started because like when I was able to reverse that relationship with money and like actually be able to meet goals and start paying off debt and start understanding, how to make money work for me. I was like, this is actually really fun.
This is like something that, I think everybody needs to know. And so that's why I started my platform because I was just like, these are tools that are accessible to anyone. This is something that anybody can do. But I felt like either it's gate cap. Or we just don't think it's possible for us, so we just don't do it.
But it's not [00:19:00] hard, but you do have to be intentional about doing it. And so that's why I'm like, man, like really and exactly what you said, it is not a numbers problem. It is an emotional problem. It is like something that. Maybe you might need a little bit more help on the psychological side.
So maybe your first step will be to like go to a therapy around your money, because like you said, your money habits did not start when you were 18 or the first like time you got a paycheck. Your money habits started from that first money conversation you heard from your parents or your grandparents, or people that you surrounded yourself with and how they dealt with money.
And the way my family dealt with money is oftentimes it was like the haves and the have nots. We have a portion of my family that had a lot of money and they kind of just hoarded that money and they didn't share it, and it was like theirs. And then we have, people in my family that were extremely broke and I was raised [00:20:00] by a single dad.
And so it was just like making it like, it's just scraping by bill, collectors calling and all of that kind of stuff. So it puts you in a position where you're like, I don't know what my money story is gonna be. I know I want it to be different and both of us was set up probably in a position to be like, Hey you going to college by any means necessary, cuz you're gonna change the trajectory of this family.
But not being like equipped with the tools financially to even understand how to make those shifts.
Raquel: Yeah, there's this wonderful quote. I love this quote from Robert Kiosaki. He says the issue, I'm not gonna quote this directly, but he says, the issue with money is that it's taught at home and not in the school.
So what can a poor parent teach their child about money? And so the way that I read that was he was not just talking about financially poor, but he was also talking about being poor and financial literacy. So it's so interesting with me to me, like the women that I've worked with come [00:21:00] from both sides of the pendulum.
So you have. People who grew up in, economically disadvantaged area, and then you have people who were just silver spoonfed spoiled. What's interesting is, Both places can have a place where they don't understand the value of money, right? So where you've been handed everything your whole life and never taught anything, now you don't have a real, a correct realization of how money works.
So there's this expectation that doesn't meet your reality when it's time for you to show up for yourself. And then when you're not taught about, the, those financial places, now you're looking like, okay. What I'm supposed to do. Right? And on the other side, where people grew up in, financially disadvantaged areas, you're used to that survival mode.
And so what ends up happening is unless you realize that you need to make that shift, you end up repeating the cycle of your parents. So it's just, it's money is inter money is just so interesting to me because so many people think that it's about the numbers and it's [00:22:00] so many layers deeper than that.
Naseema: So many layers deeper, so many layers deeper. And it's not just a simple, just like we had talked about, like quick fix. It really does take a lot of intentionality, a lot of continuous cycle breaking of these things that you thought. Or the way that you behave instinctively because of what you were taught or what you were surrounded with.
And so that's why it's super important. Like I tell people and they're just like, what's the first step? I'm like, check your circle. Who? Like how are people talking about money around you? How are people interacting with money around you and. If they're not doing things that you aspire to financially, you're probably in the wrong circles.
And it doesn't take a lot to shift your circles. It doesn't mean you have to get rid of your friends or not hang out with certain people. It means you just need to change what you are consuming. So social media wise, like [00:23:00] only file follow people that you aspire to. Read. Books of personal finance people, and.
What's like the evolution of personal finance, like even just over the last five years has been incredible. Where you see voices and faces that historically have not been in the personal finance space that are relatable to you so that you can be like, these are my people. And typically if you follow the people that they're following, You can create a circle of people that normalizes these habits of wealth building that we weren't taught.
So it reinforces those things that you get from personal finance books, personal finance, podcasts, all of those things. By surrounding yourself and seeing the habits of people that you know look like you, that have gone through similar situations as you that you aspire to. So one thing that I really love is that you kind of stumbled upon, like you did [00:24:00] the daycare thing, and that's fun.
But when you were able to, I couldn't do it, girl. When you were able to like actually sit down with people that you saw their bank accounts and you were just like, Hey, when you get your next check, holler at me, and then we could sit down, create a budget and all these kind of things, and you realized that you love that, but taking up.
Like something that was devastating, like you losing your job and so many people, were devastated and wiped out by, COVID and all the layoffs. But instead of you being like, dang, like I really love doing that sucks that I don't have that job. You took that to grow your own empire.
So I wanna just talk about like that transition of being that banker to, having your own. Business where you now inspire women across the globe.
Raquel: Yeah. One thing I'll definitely say is that by the time I lost my job, I already had a year's worth of salary put away. [00:25:00] I'd already had like successful investment accounts. My, I was good financially, so what. Caused me to be snot-nosed, teary eyed going home was because I'd never been let go.
And I was like, was it me? Like I was really hurt. My ego was like, I was like, what did I do? Because I loved my job. So I gave myself, 48 hours. I'm not gonna lie, I took two days. The first day I was tight. The second day I was sad. And then after that I was like What do I need to do to continue this?
So for me it was like, okay, budgets was what was working for you in the bank. So I'll just continue to do the budgets. And while I was a banker, I built a budget binder. That's what I was doing for everybody who was working with me. Cuz I'm like, okay, this is the things that's gonna help you. Let's go through this process.
So I had this makeshift binder of different worksheets that I made over the course of time. And so I went through that process and I'm like, Hey y'all, I'm gonna be. Creating customized budgets for anyone who's interested. I'm on Facebook [00:26:00] for $50 custom budgets or $50, and I was like, I was out there and I had, man, I had so many people interested.
They were like, yeah, cuz I'd been online talking about money, but it was just, I, I'd been on there talking about it, but I wasn't advertising a product, I wasn't putting a service out there. When that time came, I had people coming in and I was overworking myself, but in my head I'm like, man, this is $50 a person.
I was only making 1870 something a hour being a banker. I'm, that's when my money mindset was at that time. And for me, the biggest shift happened when I said, you know what? I'm gonna invest into coaching because what I'm doing is is working, but. I'm struggling with getting reviews from these people, but I know that what I'm doing is working.
And
so when I invested in this coaching program, it was expensive. Y'all, okay, I'm not even going to joke it, but this goes to say, okay, so it was a [00:27:00] $12,000, 12 week
Naseema: Woo.
Raquel: What made me so mad about this program, because remember y'all, I've been a failed entrepreneur now for some time, right?
Failed daycare. Failed gym. Okay. All these learning lessons. What made me so upset about paying that much money for that program was that I realized I knew 97% of the information that was in the program. I just was sleeping on my own skillsets. So if you're listening to this podcast and you're like, I need an additional source of income, and you're someone who's a consumer of information, but an executor of none, you probably already know what you need to do.
You're just not standing 10 toes on it.
Naseema: Facts come through.
Raquel: So what it made me realize was that I was way more valuable in the space than I was giving myself credit for. And number two is that I was not valuing my price point of the service that I was offering. So once I started to shift that the [00:28:00] reviews, people were showing up before me on the call, and they were all, they were never missing appointments and I was generating the reviews and that's what like really helped me.
Get to the next level within my brand because I shifted how I viewed myself in the space and I started to view myself really as an expert of someone who maybe might not have all the degrees and all the fancy things that come behind that name. But I'm someone who's gone through the experience and I've helped plenty of people in the process and I knew that I could continue to do that at an effective level.
And It just became a thing of me of like, how can I help more people? What does helping more people look like? And it just started to take off
Naseema: Yes. I love it. So it sounds even though, first of all, like when I understand that frustration, because first of all, you like, I just paid $12,000 for this and I probably could have created this on my own, and how come I'm not.
Raquel: what? What it did. Let me explain to you what this $12,000 thing did for [00:29:00] me, right? It, there's a thing out there that says you can't ask for what you haven't paid for, right? Because there is a muscle that stretches when you invest into yourself, right? If all you've done is go to free things, which if you can only afford to do that, I get it.
Cuz there were times where I could only afford to volunteer. Right. But I knew that if I wanted to grow as an individual, I had to de invest into personal development and I still invest into personal development to this day. So what it did do for me was it told me that, okay, if I can come from lying saying I ate cuz we couldn't afford food to being able to invest into this program, then that also means that.
Other people can now invest into me. Now, I don't charge $12,000, but other people can invest into me because I've now expanded my investment muscle and I know that the value is there, right? So it allowed me to go from $50 budgets [00:30:00] to $150 budgets to. $500 budgets to $1,500 experiences for people, at the, like travel nurses and stuff like that.
They want that type of help, so it allowed me to shift that perspective within myself because $50 budget bougie banker would never even think that I would be able to charge what I charge now to be able to help people on a one-on-one level and produce the results that I produce for people.
Naseema: I love it. I love it. Yeah. And then I love that saying, I've never heard that before, but it totally makes sense about you not being able to, charge what you've never paid because there is a shift that happens mentally, and I've invested heavily in coaching as well, and I see the value and I understand that it just totally skyrockets like.
What your potential is. And sometimes it's not even just about the curriculum. Sometimes it's about the rooms that you're in the pe, the people that you meet. And it's just so many things that people like once they [00:31:00] open their world, op open their brain to like another, World in another like reality and surround themselves with different people.
The possibilities are endless. And that's why I never thought I'd be in this space either. I'm a nurse, like what do I know talking about finances, but in sharing just my personal stories and being like willing. To try to help others. It's open up this whole other world of possibilities for me and and sometimes that's all that it takes is that intentionality behind, like trying to make sure that you and yours are good.
That changes the trajectory of your life. And so I don't want people to undermine the value of actually putting some effort into making sure that they're, working on themselves because you don't know what it can open up for you in your life. And so it sounds like it's created a whole new world for you to be able to to create like, All these things for yourself and your family, and I really [00:32:00] wanna talk about the impact that these changes have had on your girls because
Raquel: Yes.
Naseema: I think it's just like super important and it's just, Phenomenal to see you role modeling success despite all the things that you've been to, to your daughters.
Raquel: Thank you. I appreciate that.
Naseema: Yeah,
Raquel: babies. They it's so funny, right? Because to me, they're the reason why everything had to change, right? And so now they're getting older. The, my oldest is 15 my middle is 10 and my youngest is seven. And so they're at the age where, They're having definite like personality characteristics where they're not trying to be like each other anymore.
Like my 10 year old and seven year old, they used to fight about that, but now they have their own personalities that are really shining. My 15 year old, I always hear her on her game. She plays PlayStation a lot and she's in her like PlayStation parties and stuff, and she's [00:33:00] I invest.
So y'all could be broke if y'all wanna be like that. Those type of conversations. And I'm like, I know that's right girl. And I te I'm intentional,
I treat them coming with me on different things as if we would treat it when our parents took us to church. You might not like that you're here right now, but you're gonna still get this stuff and it's gonna stick at some point and it will shift your conversations later, I truly believe they say, with church they say, teach a child, train a child in the way they should go so that it will never depart them. Right? So even though they may stray, they'll still come back to the foundation that you gave them. And so even with the things that I do in being an entrepreneur, I don't care if they don't wanna be entrepreneurs, I just need them to be in the rooms with the people who are talking about other things, such as savings, such as investing in yourself, such as.
Your value systems as a human being, those type of things.
So I'm very intentional about making sure that they're always with me when I'm in those type of rooms. And so when I get to, I'm [00:34:00] at the top of the stairs and I hear her talking about that girl, you should put your money up cuz you doing too much.
I'm like yes. I don't come downstairs and say anything, but I'm in the back, like super proud. And then, my 10 year old. She went on her 10th birthday, everybody was giving her money. She came to me and she said, mom, I don't wanna spend all of this. She's so how about I take, she had a hundred dollars that she wanted to spend.
So how about I take this a hundred and we go and we do stuff and we go and we buy stuff. And this is all that I spent. That would not have been the money conversation with me when I was 10. I would've spent the whole thing, you gave me 300, that 300 is gone. So we get to the mall. What's so funny, we go to the mall and she's like, Why does this stuff cost so much?
Everything. She was like, this is too expensive. She said, mom, can we just go to Walmart? And I go get some toys? She was like, this stuff costs too much. So it's like they're so intentional about what they're doing with their money, and I know that it stems from. The conversations I've had with them, the environments that I keep them in, and [00:35:00] it's becoming ingrained just into their natural habits.
And then like my seven year old, oh my gosh, my seven year old is without a shadow of a doubt, a public speaker. To what degree? I don't know. But they were at my women's conference. I had a women's only conference in in Atlanta this past February, and my girls came and Maya, my seven year old, asked if she could speak.
Now, I don't know what's up with this girl. But every time I go to a conference or I go somewhere, she finds her way up on that stage and it's not me asking for her to go, it's, she goes right up to whomever is I wanna say something on the stage, and they let her up there and she's motivating people and all this stuff.
So that particular day she gets on stage and. I'm in the back. I didn't even know she was on the stage. So I come in the front and I'm like, who put her on the stage? So I go up there, I go. So I go up there and I'm, you know how you do when you're trying to like politely correct your child, [00:36:00] do the nice thing.
So she has my book, and my book is on, relationship with money and all that stuff we talked about earlier. And she's telling people, she's Now that you've learned everything that you need to learn about financial literacy from my mom, the bougie banker, I want you to take her book and pass it around.
She goes, she points at the people. She goes, pass it around, and as you open it and look through the pages, you can see how much this book can help you. That's what she did. This a hundred percent on her own, like not coached anything, but it goes to show me that. She could tell you about the book without me having to tell it
Because I keep her in those environments.
So I know that their money conversations are different. I know they're different from the majority of their peers, and it's, I just wanna make this clear.
It's not to say that money is everything, but money is a tool, and I feel like we're not equipping our children enough with the proper tools they need for.
Their lifetime versus what they need to pass the test, right? Like [00:37:00] these skill sets are gonna be vital to them later. So whether my children decide to go and be CEOs or whether they decide to just go invest passively and live life that way, I know at least that at bare minimum they will not have finances as a life stressor for them.
Naseema: Oh my God. I love all of that. And I'm just thinking about my girls. Cause they're the same way. So they're nine and four, but just because they're surrounded by the conversations and it's not like I just Talk about money all day to them, but they're surrounded by it, right? They're here in the background while I'm doing my podcast.
They go, you see 'em at the conferences with me. They're right there with me. But it just expands what's possible for them and they just see different things and Kids are gonna be influenced one way or the other. And they, there's a saying, saying that, more is caught than taught. And so the more experiences, positive [00:38:00] experiences, positive money experiences, you can surround them with.
Even if it's not you teaching them, but it just becomes like something that's possible for them, the more that they're going to have a better money mindset and be able to, like I said, reverse some of those things that society is putting on them. That is teaching them about being consumers. So I love the conversations that you're ha that your kids are having about investing.
Cuz my nine year old's the same way. And she's she really does not get why people don't understand investing And like telling her kids about her friends. Yeah, I have money cuz I invested so. What are you doing? I don't get
Raquel: right.
Naseema: But the things and the bs like, like you were saying, that our kids aren't gonna have to go through that.
We had to go through just because of the experiences that we're given that we're giving them and the things that they ha get to opt out of [00:39:00] are like incredible just from being. In the spaces that we create for them. So I love what you're doing for your girls, and I can't wait to see you.
Raquel: They are a trip. They are. There is one thing. I'll say this though, outside of the conversations, I know that you do practical things with your children to teach 'em about finances, as do I. And I think it's definitely important to touch on that too, because we're talking about kids in our money,
Naseema: Yeah.
Raquel: So one thing that I do wanna share with y'all that I do with my kids is that let's say they want something cool, I'm cool with my kids wanting things, right? We always wanna be the parent that gets them what they want, but I started to learn that's not really beneficial. And then we also start feeling like they don't appreciate the things that we get for them because they're just expecting it.
So one of the things I do with my daughters is if they want something and that, it's kind of pricey or whatever, I'll be like, okay, yeah, we can get that. I'll print out a picture of it. I'll put it up like on the refrigerator, what have you, and then I'll also put a Ziploc bag next to it and [00:40:00] I'll tell them for every.
Financial literacy book. You read a personal development book that you read, you will earn money towards this thing that you want. So what I'm getting out of it is I'm getting them to instill education within themselves that is outside of the school system in regards to personal development and financial literacy.
And what they're getting is the thing that they want. And so now they have worked for it, they've earned it, now they value it, they appreciate it, and I've gotten what I want out of the deal too. So it's a really cool, practical thing to implement in your household if you feel like your children don't appreciate or value, some of the things that you've been getting for them.
Naseema: I love that and I'm gonna start doing that for my older daughter, this little one. She just gets what she wants and not for me, but she's just spoiled. But, and I know she definitely don't appreciate stuff, but I think that's a great tool. Even but even things like.
Teaching them to solve problems instead of, just okay, there's something that you really want.
What are some things [00:41:00] that you can do to get it? And teaching them to think through that process is something that you have to do as an entrepreneur. So it like builds those skills, but age appropriate practical things that kids can do. But yeah. But. I think what a lot of people overestimate, like you said, is like those things like, okay, so what do I need to be teaching my kids?
The best thing you could probably do for your kids is get your finances together, because a lot of times, especially with women, what we wanna do is we wanna pour to our kids, but we are not doing the things we need to do financially to be in a better position.
So once you start modeling those behaviors, Like making sure you're investing, making sure you're not living check to check and broken, struggling, and not eating so they can eat.
Once you're in a position to do those things the way the those impacts are so much more [00:42:00] important long-term on their lives, then you. No. Making sure that they have a chore list and do all of these things, and so I think especially when, because we're talking to mostly women and mostly parents, like the best thing you can do for your kids is to get your stuff together yourself.
Raquel: Absolutely.
Naseema: So how can people work with the bougie banker? What's coming up next for you? What is going on? Because I know everybody loves you and you're making such an impact in the world, and I just love watching what you do cuz it's so inspirational.
Raquel: Thank you all. You guys these are the things that I have going on. We talked about on one-on-one services earlier, but you know, I have a community that's very affordable. And then I have a four week program called the Wealthy Women Playbook, and we go over the components of what wealthy women have when they're [00:43:00] building wealth.
They have a money management plan. They're working on their credit, right? They invest and they protect the wealth that they create. So that's what's in there. But I have a free webinar. Feel free to come hang out with me. And then I have a podcast as well. So my new show is launching July 15th, 2023 on my 35th birthday. So excited. So please subscribe. You guys, I would love to have you come hang out with me over there and look into being a bougie bestie.
Naseema: Yes. I love it. And I have links in the show notes for you to
Raquel: Thank you.
Naseema: bestie, and thank
Raquel: Oh, and my book, oh Lord, my
Naseema: Oh
Raquel: how I forget that. So my book, mastering Your Money Mindset, it's a self-discovery book, so it's rooted in your self-reflection, right? We go through the conversations of where your relationship with money started, identifying what your imp siv are, those triggers and creating healthy [00:44:00] boundaries around those triggers.
So it is a self-discovery journey and you will love it. It's, the book has helped so many people, so you should grab
Naseema: that's incredible. I love it. love it. I love it. So all those things will be linked in to show notes. Make sure you guys are following the bougie banker. She's always doing lives sh on Instagram, so you know, you could check her out, make sure you access her services. But I know you're inspired by her story and hopefully you took one actionable thing that you can do.
Today to change your finances. So thank you so much, Raquel, for joining us. This
Raquel: Thank you for having me. This was fun. This is like my, I think this was one of my favorite interviews. This was
really cool.
Naseema: thank you.
Hey there I’m Naseema
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