Navigating Family Dynamics When Your Child Earns More - Expert Edition Episode 56
In today's episode, we talk about something super cool and a bit unexpected. Imagine your kid starts making more money than you by streaming videos online. Pretty awesome, right? But it also makes you think a lot about money and family. We dive into how to talk about this with your kids, making sure they're smart with their money, and keeping your family happy and healthy through it all. It's all about supporting each other, learning together, and maybe even setting up some smart money habits early on.
Myleik & Mommas: https://my-mommas.circle.so/checkout/myleik-and-mommas-annual-subscription
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TRANSCRIPT:
Naseema: [00:00:00] What's up, my financially intentional people. So happy Tuesday, or if you're not listening to this on a Tuesday, welcome to the Tuesday episode of the financially intentional podcast. So I came across this post in my mom's group that I'm a part of. It's called Myleik & Mommas, and it's an incredible mom's group that offers the kind of support that I wish I had at the onset of me being a mom, but If you're an auntie, an aspiring mom, or someone that just loves to support moms, this is an incredible community of resources, of meetups, of some incredible people, and just a source of information that.
Moms can benefit from, especially moms of color. I'll put the link in the show notes to the Myleik & Mommas community. And you all know, I'm a big fan of Myleik Teal. So I'm going to be rocking with pretty much anything that she does. She's my birthday twin. I relate to her. A lot. So this post was actually posted [00:01:00] by Myleik and it is something that she found on reddit that she thought would make for an interesting conversation.
So I will read the post to you. How do you deal with a child earning more money than you? So here's the deal. I thought I did pretty okay with money. Pulling in 7k a month, always enough to keep things smooth for the family. But then my 18 year old son, who's into live streaming on kick, Twitch and TikTok started making some serious bank.
We're talking 10 K plus a month for streaming sponsorships and all that jazz. It's a weird feeling, not going to lie on one hand, super proud of him for finding his thing and absolutely killing it. On the other, it's strange to think my kid is out earning me by a good margin, especially at 18.
I guess I'm looking for [00:02:00] advice on how to navigate this. How do you deal with the dynamic shift in the family? Any tips on keeping things normal without letting money change our relationship? Really want to make sure we stay grounded and keep our values in check We'd love to hear from anyone who's been in a similar spot or has someone wisdom to share Thanks folks.
So this is a super interesting scenario number one is because I really hope my kids do out earn me and can Outer me in something that they love. It sounds like this is a hobby that this kid had and they Figured out a way to make profit from it and I love that for them Also a concern is, is that oftentimes when people start making money on platforms like Kik, Twitch, TikTok, all of those things are super platform dependent.
So, unless they [00:03:00] figure out a way, To move their audiences off the platforms, their platform, the income generated from those things can be temporary are as those things like go out of style. We know Facebook used to be the pop in platform. My space used to be a pop in platform that kind of faded away, not saying that these things will go away in the near future.
But, tick tock is under fire right now. So I think. There is. Some conversations around long term viability as a source of income, but my thoughts are, while this child who is obviously still living under this parent's roof, and one thing is unclear is if it's like a mom or dad writing this, I really don't It really doesn't matter who wrote it, but I think it's interesting to think do you think this is coming from a dad's perspective or a mom's perspective?
Because I think women would less likely trip if a kid is making more money than them [00:04:00] versus a man, but maybe that's a gender stereotype, but I think that's something interesting to think about. But talking to your child about the long term viability of this as an income source based on it being a function of platforms that he doesn't own.
But this child is 18 living under their parent's roof. And while he is making this money, it is a conversation to have, especially this good amount of money, when I I'm assuming that he doesn't have a lot of expenses, or And I think they said son. Yes, son. So I'm not, I'm not assuming that it's a boy.
So while he's not having that many expenses, the thing is he is 18. So he is in a position where he could go out and live independently. And I would not just because he's making the income force him to live independently. But I think it's a good thing. Good way to be able to [00:05:00] transition him into being a financially savvy adult.
And I just want to pull back a little bit and look at this perspective from this parent who is making this income that they have thought was decent, that they are able to get by on and see that this child is now outpacing them in earnings. And first of all, That is one of those things that, however you're feeling it, it probably stems from the way that you look at money in general, whatever your perspectives are about money.
And a lot of times our money perspectives are shaped by what we saw in childhood. And a lot of it is shaped by trauma that hasn't healed. So like the first piece of advice I would give to this parent is to really understand your own money stories, your own feelings around money, how you view money as an [00:06:00] 18 year olds and sit with those within yourself before you even have a conversation with your son.
Because I feel like sometimes. We can approach our kids with things that we aren't healed from, or things that we wish we could have experienced at that age, or something that, with whatever our traumas are without even understanding where they come from. So in sitting in that, and even if, you want, you need to seek out therapy or counseling or somebody, a coach to walk you through those things so you can help process this before really engaging in a deep conversation with your son.
I think that That's the first step kind of like heal your own money stories and your own money beliefs so that you can set a solid foundation for how you think about money going forward, and then you can help shape. How you want your son to think about money, because again, Morris is [00:07:00] caught then taught, and I, I say again because I say that often, if your child is seeing you having a difficult dynamic with money, they might not necessarily trust that you, you're a great person to talk about money too, because they're just like what do you know? I, I just thought, that I just think that it's something to explore internally before you talk to your son about it. But I think this is an optimal opportunity to be able to set your son up for success.
Even if this income stream does go away, putting away money right now for your son can set them up for a good financial life down the road. So just like I would give advice to anybody starting off in their career, I would have certain accounts set up. Number one, you start with a regular savings account at your local credit union. Have at least a thousand dollars in savings and then a certain amount [00:08:00] in checking goes through that account. Then emergency fund for this child, I would say 5, 000, like half of their monthly pay take home and a high yield savings account.
And then we would start because he is earning income. Start setting up those other two accounts, a brokerage account and a Roth IRA and I'm set to start maxing out a Roth IRA for later. And then setting up a brokerage account that can go for paying for things like a down payment on a home or a car down the road.
But things like that are at least five years out, you can start putting money into and start building those money habits. I have talked a few times about this app called GoHenry that is I use for my younger kids. And like I said, I don't think it's ever too early to start having money conversations with your kids.
But this is definitely something that is geared to a younger audience, but in [00:09:00] saying that, that doesn't mean that somebody younger, like my kids can get acting contracts and make way more money than me at this point. So Like talking to your kids as early as possible about money, but also building that financial knowledge that these, the tests and the quizzes give them.
Also knowing how to budget your money, like this is how much I have, and this is how much I have to spend, like teaching those lessons, but I think overall, the biggest lesson is pay yourself first, especially when you are generating this amount of money and the potential for the long term gains of that money in a retirement account But when they're able to they're able to early retire, but like at retirement age, they'll be able to have so much money put aside.
So if there's nothing else, get those four accounts set up. So checking account at the local bank with the savings there. a high yield savings account, a brokerage account, and because this person is [00:10:00] 18, they can do their own brokerage account, and a Roth IRA. At the very least, get those funded consistently, and you can talk about what amount of money you automatically want to put in that account, so you get your son Saving and building that savings muscle.
Like those are things that you don't want to miss out on. And besides that, I think you should just let your child enjoy their money. Let them make money mistakes, especially when it's their money and it's not your money, they're making the mistakes with, but let them make money mistakes early on. So don't be so strict on the money.
Like with don't be so strict with them as far as their money because it's really their money But since they're living in your household, I can see people saying that oh, it's time for them to pay rent it's time for them to pay the bills and contribute in that way and Sure, have them contribute to something like the internet as it's using that For streaming or something like that, but let [00:11:00] them actually have fun and start seeing how money plays a role in their lives as far as what it can afford them as far as wants and needs.
And Let them have these lessons early on because a lot of us didn't have access to this amount of money into, we were well into our careers and maybe even having kids and having all these responsibilities. And so those money mistakes hit a lot harder because we had to learn them so much later and with so much more on the line.
So again, I think this is an excellent opportunity to To be able to explore money conversations with your kids. And as far as staying grounded, I think that that's something that you have to instill in your kids anyway, but maybe even telling them or asking them to contribute.
To certain charities or things like that can help them stay grounded. I can understand how making 10, [00:12:00] 000 a month could make a teenager act up and act out and maybe even be like, I don't really have to listen to you. Number one, I'm grown. Number two, I'll make more money than you. But I think those are separate.
Situations than actually teaching someone about money. But I can see it happening. And I think a lot of that can be mitigated by, conversations and then feeling like you're a safe space and that dealt with your money issues, but again, I really feel if it happens lesson learned from those lessons, but, don't let your own money traumas compound, like the negative things that can go on in that situation. But anyway, I just thought that this is a super interesting post. And I would love to hear your feedback on how you would deal with your child earning more money than you. I definitely would aspire for my kids to make more money [00:13:00] than me sooner than later and not because of what it can do for me, but because everything I do is to make sure that my kids are living a better lifestyle and can opt out of a lot of the BS that I had to go through.
So if they can make more money earlier on the better, but yeah, I think there's a super interesting conversation. We'd love to hear you guys feedback and thank you again for joining me on a Tuesday episode of the financially intentional podcast.
Hey there I’m Naseema
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