Turning 43 with Life Lessons for My Girls - Expert Edition Episode 65

In today's episode, I reflect on turning 43 and share seven important lessons I hope my daughters will learn. From self-love and integrity to understanding money and embracing failure, these lessons are the foundation for a happy, successful life. Join me as I explain why these lessons matter and how I plan to teach them to my kids. Let's celebrate growth, learning, and the power of chosen family together!

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TRANSCRIPT:

Naseema: [00:00:00] So I turned 43 on May 15th and baby Z is turning one on May 24th. You guys, my grand finale will be one year old. Can you believe it? How time has flown and we're going to go to Vegas for her birthday to turn up. Request her my five year old so don't come for me. We have a lot of fun in Vegas But we're gonna go to Vegas to celebrate her birthday but part of my birthday I Wanted to just share some lessons that I hope my daughters will pick up in.

If I didn't get anything else for my birthday, if I never get anything else for my birthday, like these are some lessons that I want my daughters to truly encompass. Cause these are things that I didn't really fully understand until I got older. And so I really just hope that they pick up on these things and hopefully I can Demonstrate these things to them because you know more is caught than taught But [00:01:00] if they don't listen to anything else in life that I say I hope that they embrace these life lessons that I share with them and i'll explain I put this in my little birthday post but I want to expand on them in this podcast.

So lesson number one, make loving yourself your number one priority above all else. When you prioritize self love, you set the foundation for everything in your life to fall into place. And I didn't. Learn this until I was way too old. I'm almost embarrassed to say how old I was when I really was like, oh, I should be loving myself.

I spent a lot of my life beating myself up or pushing myself and telling myself I can do better because I felt like that's what I had to do in order to be successful. Honestly, in order to do the things that I felt like people expected from me I felt like I had to push myself. I had to be the [00:02:00] best.

And honestly, that looked like being really mean to myself, being down on myself, if I didn't achieve the highest grades, if I didn't. Get a certain position and all of these things instead of like fully leaning into loving who I was and accepting that in that process of achieving and Earning more and I feel like I would have been a lot further along if I had done this.

Because being yourself, and it also opens up room for other people to tear you down. And it also creates an opportunity for you to seek love outside and external validation in external places. And that's not always the safest place to be. And I really leaned into really fully loving myself.

And I feel like in doing that. It has taught me and taught others how to love me. And so that's lesson number one. Lesson number two, [00:03:00] people are always looking at you and as much as you want to present your best self, the person that needs the most convincing is you keeping your promises to yourself is a powerful act of self love and self respect.

I think A lot of times when you're a kid and you think you can do anything, anything is possible. You can be a superhero. That's what my daughter was talking about this morning. Oh, if you keep on doing good, like you can be a superhero. And I was like, of course yes. But Over time, failures can tear you down if you allow them to.

And then before you know it, you really stop doing the things that you tell yourself you're going to do. You're inconsistent with working out. You're inconsistent with your diet. You say you're going to not drink and then you end up drinking. These things of lying to yourself or not lying to yourself, but not doing the things you tell yourself you're going to do tears you down internally and subconsciously.[00:04:00]

And so there are ways that you can build them up. And Number one, like I want to teach my daughters to make sure that if you say you're going to do something, you try your hardest to do it. And you do little things in life to know that you can achieve certain things. For example, If it's just something as simple as making the bed every day, just because you're going to make the bed every day, the more that you're consistently doing that, you're proving to yourself that you can do bigger things consistently.

And that's A reason why I like keep habit journals around because if you can check off little things that you do consistently it builds on these habits that you can form in your life to hack your way back up to believing that anything is possible for you and also to restore that self confidence that has been depleted in you that makes you think that things aren't possible for you and Those are little subconscious ways that you are [00:05:00] exposing yourself to achieving more and doing better.

So everybody is watching. And yes, that's true. Also in the fact that there's so many people out there looking to you, looking at you to give you things to make things possible for you, but the most impactful person that is watching is you. Because If you're in a place where you have beaten yourself up and you don't think are possible for you when opportunities present themselves, it's harder for you to move into those opportunities.

It's harder for you to embrace those things because maybe you feel like you're not deserving. So practice self love, practice self respect, practice being in integrity always. Lesson number three, the way you approach any task or situation reflects your overall approach to life. Whether it's doing dishes, tackling a work project or handling relationships, your attitude and methods are [00:06:00] consistent across the board.

So pay attention to those little things because they reveal a lot about the bigger picture. This is again about integrity. Okay. Do what's right always, even if nobody is watching. Always strive for excellence, even if you don't get it, at least you're striving for excellence. Like doing the bare minimum is not acceptable in my house. I actually I made my daughter this weekend. She had a project she was supposed to turn in and I know she didn't put her best effort into it. I know she tried, but I know she didn't put her best effort into it.

And as part of teaching her about integrity and doing things like The best that she can like striving for excellence. I'm like, no you have to throw it away I made her throw it away I texted her teacher let her know what was going on But she is gonna have to put some more work into that project because how she does one thing is how she's gonna do another And if I allow her to just do [00:07:00] the bare minimum, she's gonna think that that's okay I know that is not okay for her.

It is not okay for me And so those things and those lessons are going to have to be reinforced over and over in your own life. Again, it's about integrity. If you keep on striving for excellence, excellence is going to be presented to you. All right. Lesson number four, understanding how money works.

It's like having a secret code to unlock the mysteries in life. It's not just about having cash in your pocket. It's about knowing how to make it, manage it and make it work for you. If you don't understand money, life is incredibly easy. If you don't understand money, life is incredibly hard. The most successful people in life have learned how to make money work for For them and the people that struggle with money Have not figured out how money truly works like it is expensive to be broke It's [00:08:00] expensive to be behind on bills.

You get tax extra late fees Like it's just expensive know how many words and changing that relationship with money as to where you're not working hard for it. You're making it work for you is the biggest shift that you can make in order to be financially successful. The way that looks in practical application is investing, is building cash flowing assets.

You're going to hear a great podcast interview on Thursday that speaks to how to Leverage just a little bit of money to grow successful businesses so all of these things understand how money works and if you understand how money works life will be so much easier because even though It's not life isn't all about money having money makes life easier Easier or can make life easier because you're not just existing.

You're not just struggling. All right, lesson number five [00:09:00] Every stumble every setback is an opportunity to learn grow And come back stronger failure isn't the end of the road. It's a detour on the journey to greatness I always say if you have not failed you have not tried hard enough. Failure is just a sign that you are trying.

So always fail forward, embrace your failures because there are lessons in everything that you do. And sometimes you have to fail in order to get to the thing that you are really destined to, or to achieve the goal that you are seeking. Oh, failures hurt. They hurt in that moment, and they can set you back.

But don't let it take you out Yes, take time to mourn whatever loss whatever failure but look at the lessons within that and use that to and learn and achieve the next thing I Always say that things [00:10:00] don't happen to me. They happen for me and failures are As big and as small as they are opportunities for me to improve myself and I'm always striving to improve myself and that's what I hope my kids

strive towards as well. Lesson number six, while blood may be thicker than water, the strength of family bonds isn't always determined by genetics. Sometimes the people who stand by you through thick and thin aren't the ones you share DNA with, but the ones who choose to love and support you unconditionally.

Let me just tell you the power of just those chosen friends. I love my family. But I also love the support and the opportunities that I have gotten from my chosen family, the people that I have rocked with even for short periods of time, but the people that are in my life, not that our family, but they are chosen.

Like we chose to be in each other's lives. Even in this personal finance [00:11:00] space, I have met so many amazing people that I can count on for so many different things and they have become my extended family. And so I just want my kids to understand why yes, family is great. Love your family. Love your sisters.

Love your brother, love your aunties and uncles. But, okay. Don't think that that is the only family that you can have embrace those relationships of extended family your chosen friends But and also know that some of those people that are the closest to you can also be Toxic and don't be afraid to let go of those relationships Always have firm boundaries around that because just because somebody is your blood doesn't mean that they won't Do things that can hurt you detrimentally.

So Lessons there, and then my last lesson is to keep your mind sharp and your curiosity alive by never ceasing to learn the world is full of wonders and knowledge and waiting to be discovered, whether it's through books experience or interactions with other. [00:12:00] Never miss an opportunity to expand your horizons.

I am a lifetime learner. You guys, I love to learn. I don't necessarily love higher education systems, but I love learning and the more that I learn, the more that I thirst for knowledge because the more that I see that I don't know, and I want to create, cultivate this for my kids. It's dangerous to think that you know everything that's in work that's in life that's in relationships like it is so dangerous to close yourself off to thinking bigger because I feel like that's where you know You're just doing yourself a disservice.

And professionally, if you think you know everything, you're a danger to the people that you serve. But I just never stop learning. And I love to learn from different perspectives. I love to learn about things that I typically wouldn't be exposed to. To I don't ever want to be in an echo chamber of people that look or think like me.

I want to always be challenged in [00:13:00] knowing that there's so much out there that I just don't know. So I just love learning. It's fascinating to me. I seek out. To learn things every day and i'll hope to pass on that. Quest for knowledge to my kids So those are the seven lessons that I hope my daughters embrace and if they never give me anything for my birthday and they Embrace these lessons.

I feel like I have done my job as a mom. So let me know what you think about those lessons Have you embraced those? How are you teaching your kids those things or what are some lessons that you feel like you want to pass on or things that have improved your life. Hit me up in my DMs. I love to hear it.

And I'll see you back here on Thursday. Peace.

Hey there I’m Naseema

My dream is for everyone to know that financial independence is attainable with a little intentionality. Learn how I can help you finally break the cycle of living paycheck to paycheck.

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